Somewhere in Time
by ashenrenee
Summary: When Hermione gets sent back in time to 1981, accidentally saves Harry's parents, and becomes the focus of a new prophecy she has to learn to navigate her way through life in a new time with new friends (and some old ones) while trying to defeat Voldemort once and for all.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my loves! So this is my big project. I've been working on this for a while and it's finally ready for you to read. I hope that you like this, it's my first full length story that does not star an OC.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1**_

 _ **May 2, 1998**_

She never thought that it would end this way. As Hermione Granger ran through the Forbidden Forest she had a singular thought that echoed through her mind with relentless determination. It taunted her, repeating over and over again until she wanted to scream and tear the hair from her head. _We weren't supposed to lose._

She ran through the trees and underbrush, wand in one hand and the Sword of Gryffindor clutched tightly in the other. Behind her she could hear people chasing her, leaves rustling and branches snapping under pounding footsteps that made her heart clench tightly in anticipation. If they caught her she would die, like Harry, like Ron and Ginny. And still that singular thought wouldn't stop. _We weren't supposed to lose._

But they had lost, and now she was running for her life. She shoved the memories of the executions she'd been forced to witness aside and concentrated on running, refusing to acknowledge the image of her dead friends and their lifeless eyes staring at her in silent accusation because they were gone and she had lived.

The Weasley's, Neville and Luna, Tonks and Remus, all dead, and if it wasn't for Draco Malfoy she would be dead too. It was mystifying to think that Draco had been the one to save her. He'd slipped her wand and the sword into her hands and used magic to secure her beaded bag to one of her belt loops before whispering desperately in her ear for her to run and never stop until she was safe.

Draco, who had hated her since they were eleven. Draco who had wished her dead on multiple occasions; once in front of the entire student body. Draco who was now dead, struck down by his master for his betrayal as he covered her escape, allowing her to slip into the forest and out of sight. She'd never be able to thank him or ask him why he'd saved her.

Hermione tried to control the emotions that were rising up inside of her, they would make her sloppy if she wasn't careful and she could not afford to be caught now. But her fear, her fear and her sorrow threatened to cripple her even as she continued to run. _We weren't supposed to lose._

The sound of a twig snapping to her left startled her and she turned towards the sound instinctively, which might as well have been a fatal mistake because her foot caught on something and she went sprawling across the forest floor. She tried to scramble to her feet but the heavy weight of a body slammed her back into the ground, preventing her escape. Hermione screamed, or at least she tried to, but it came out like a breathless squeak and made the person pinning her down chuckle darkly.

"Trying to outrun me girl?" Hermione froze in horror at the sound of Fenrir Greyback's voice in her ear. "That's not a very smart thing to do." She kicked her legs violently, desperate to free herself from him and she very nearly sobbed in relief when she managed to land a kick to his shin, causing him to curse and shift just enough that she managed to crawl away from him.

Hermione climbed to her feet and stumbled a few steps in a random direction, no longer remembering which way she had been running in to begin with. A growl from behind her reached her ears as Greyback grabbed her roughly by the ankle, sending her crashing to the ground once more. She attempted to back away from him but he yanked on her leg, pulling her towards him and she stared up at him with wide, terrified eyes, screaming when he slapped her hard across the face.

She could feel him clawing at her clothes, shredding her jumper and the thin cotton t-shirt beneath it. His claws dug into her skin and she sobbed at the white hot pain that shot through her body. He groaned and rocked his hips against her thigh, pressing his erection into her and making her want to vomit. Hermione raised her empty fists to strike at him, idly wondering where her wand had gone, only to have him capture both hands and pin them to the ground above her head.

He gave her a feral grin as he leaned towards her slowly, tauntingly, and pressed his lips forcefully against hers. Hermione let out a closed mouthed scream and thrashed against his hold on her. He pulled away from her and laughed, his foul breath washing over her, making her gag in revulsion as he used his free hand to caress her cheek before digging his nails into her flesh and tearing three ragged marks down the left half of her face. Hermione screamed again and Greyback rutted against her and growled in her ear.

"Get off me!" she screamed, kicking and attempting to claw at him, panic rising up within her. "Please, no... please... let me go!" He laughed at her.

"I love it when they beg," he whispered roughly, his teeth tugging on her earlobe. She let out a wordless cry, a half choked sob that ripped itself from her as his hands caressed her waist and his mouth moved against her neck.

His teeth scraped against the junction between her neck and her shoulder and blind panic overtook her. He was just about to bite down, to mark her, when she heard the steady beat of hooves against the forest floor and she nearly cried in relief. Greyback lifted his head as the sound grew closer.

There was the unmistakable _thwang_ of the string of a bow being let go and Greyback let out a pained screech and rolled away from her, an arrow lodged firmly in his shoulder. Five more arrows tore through the air and buried themselves in his chest, making him howl in pain even as the blood began to flow freely from his wounds.

Hermione backed away, scrambling to find her wand and the sword, which were lying several feet away from her. She ignored the burning pain where Greyback's claws had marred her and managed to get her hands on both her wand and the sword just as the ground began to violently shake.

She heard chanting, the voices of the centaurs ringing out around her in a language she had never heard before. Hermione looked up to see a centaur she recognized, Bane, standing above her, his eyes burning into hers as he continued to chant along with his brothers. She swallowed and opened her mouth the speak, to ask him what they were doing, but he silenced her with a stern look and shook his head.

Magic swirled in the air around her as the chanting grew louder. The herd stood in a circle around her, staring at her with a fierce intensity that took her breath away. Firenze moved to stand beside Bane, followed closely by Ronan, all of them chanting over the howling of the wind.

"Hermione Granger," Firenze called loudly, "you have been chosen by the divines to mend the rift in time." He bowed to her and stepped back. Ronan stepped forward and reached down to grasp her firmly by the arm, pulling her upright as he slipped an ornate cuff over her hand. The bronze metal contracted until it fit her wrist perfectly, as if it had been forged just for her. He released her and stepped back and this time Bane stepped forward, his gaze locked on hers.

"You will save us all," he told her, his eyes glinting with something that almost looked like pride. He stomped his hoof and there was a rumbling sound followed by a loud crack and the earth beneath her split open, causing her to fall into an endless chasm.

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **October 31, 1981**_

She landed in the middle of chaos. Hermione could hear a woman screaming and a man yelling at her to take the baby and run.

Her head was pounding as she sat up and looked around for whatever threat had the woman screaming so frantically. She had no idea where she was, nor was she very clear on how she'd gotten there, but if she had learned anything in her life it was that chaos was often the result of a significant threat and if she wanted to live then she needed to identify it.

She tried to stand but couldn't seem to get her body to cooperate with her. Her legs were too shaky, her body too tired, too sore. Her grip tightened around the sword as she dug the blade into the floor in front of her and used it to pull herself to her feet. She swayed slightly but managed to stand upright as she turned towards the door.

Her eyes widened and she felt her heart begin to race at the sight of Voldemort standing in the doorway, watching her. His eyes, bright crimson just like Harry had described, danced with amusement at her struggle. Fear slammed into her followed closely by a rush of rage, pure and unhindered, and she raised her wand to cast the first curse. He blocked it and sent one at her in return and she barely managed to dodge out of its way before she shot off another curse, surprising herself with the jet of green light that burst from the tip of her wand.

He laughed coldly as he stepped out of its path and she felt her blood boil at the sound. "Do you honestly think that you can beat me?" he asked, still laughing even as he sent another curse towards her. She was only just able to block it in time. "Step aside girl, and I will let you live."

There was a part of her, small and frightened, that wanted to do as he asked. She didn't know this family, she didn't know their names or their stories, they didn't mean anything to her. Why should she die for them? _Because Harry would have died for them,_ a small voice in her head whispered. And that was all it took, one thought of Harry and her cowardice fled from her and she shot off another killing curse.

"If you want to hurt this family then you'll have to kill me first," she told him, managing to sound more confident than she felt. Her strength was fading, she was leaning heavily on the sword, depending on it to keep her from toppling over. She was in agony, her face and her shoulder throbbing with pain as she sidestepped another curse.

" _Stupefy!_ " Voldemort turned in surprise at the sound of the new voice, his shield coming up just in time to stop the stunner from hitting him. Hermione pounced on the opportunity, she dropped her wand and staggered forward, her entire body moving on instinct as she gripped the sword with two hands and swung. She screamed as the pain in her shoulder intensified, the blade arched gracefully through the air and sliced easily through the dark wizard's neck, cleanly removing his head from his shoulders.

There was a moment when time seemed to stop. Hermione stared in horror as the headless body fell, landing at her feet with a dull thud. She dropped the sword and it fell to the floor with a clatter and she felt the room tilt as she followed shortly after it. Two strong arms caught her before she could hit the ground and she felt herself being lowered slowly to the floor. Her eyelids fluttered and she struggled to keep them open, her vision blurring slightly as a kind, familiar face appeared above her.

"Harry?" she whispered, her head swimming with pain. She could feel the dark edges of unconsciousness pressing down on her and she fought it off in an attempt to discern what was wrong with his face. He looked like Harry, he was the same from his glasses to his messy black hair, but there was something undeniably different about him.

 _Harry's eyes are green_. The hazel orbs gazing at her from behind his round spectacles did not belong to her friend. _He's older_ , she realized, the man in front of her was not the seventeen year old boy she had grown up with.

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be fine," he told her. Even his voice was similar to Harry's. "Lily! Lily get down here, I need your help!" Hermione felt her gut twist at the sound of the panic in his voice. She tried to sit up but the burning pain in her shoulder stopped her and she fell back with a small whimper.

"Hurts," she whined.

"I know, I'm sorry," not-Harry said gently. "It's going to be okay, Lily will heal you. I won't let you die, I promise."

"James! Oh Gods, what happened?" a female voice demanded.

Darkness swirled again as a red headed woman stepped into view and comprehension dawned on Hermione like a slap in the face. She had gone back in time, she had inadvertently saved Harry's parents, she had changed everything. With that thought the darkness finally managed to drag her under and she went willingly, too tired to think of a solution for the position she suddenly found herself in.

..oo0O0oo..

The first thing Remus Lupin saw when he stepped out of the fireplace at Potter Cottage was the blood. A decapitated body lay in the middle of the floor next to a blood crusted sword adorned with glittering rubies. Sirius stood off to the side, examining the head that belonged to the body. But Remus' attention was drawn to the other side of the room, where James and Lily were frantically attempting to revive a girl that Remus was sure he had never seen before.

"James, what happened?" Remus asked, taking a step closer to his friends and the girl. James didn't seem to hear him, he was concentrating so wholly on the girl, so it was Lily who answered him, her emerald eyes filled with tears as she spoke.

"Peter betrayed us. Voldemort came for us, walked right in through the front door like he lived here, and then-" Lily bit her lip and looked at the girl. "I don't really know what happened, James said she fell through a hole that opened in the ceiling and just popped up off the floor and started dueling. She- she saved us Remus. James distracted him and she dropped her wand and used that sword to cut his head off."

Remus swallowed down the emotions that swept through him at the news of Peter's betrayal, he would have time to be hurt and angry later, instead he took another step forward, trying to get a better look at the girl who had used a sword, of all things, to defeat Voldemort.

She was petite and far too thin, and did not appear to be much older than seventeen. She was filthy, covered in soot and sweat and blood. Her hair was pulled back into a plait but he could tell that she hadn't washed it in a while, it was greasy and there was dirt and twigs tangled in it. Her face had three angry looking scratches running down the left side, but even then she was beautiful, her expression peaceful in her unconsciousness.

Remus took another step forward and that's when he caught the first whiff of her scent. He froze, the smell of lemongrass and mint invading his senses, making his wolf perk up in interest.

"Lily they won't heal, I don't understand why they won't heal!" James shouted in frustration. Lily turned back to help her husband who was trying to heal the wounds that marred the girl's face. Remus closed the remaining distance and dropped to his knees at the girl's side. He could smell her blood, warm and coppery and tinged with... something... something familiar. A growl rose in his throat as recognition flickered in the back of his mind.

"James," he said, reaching out to still his friend's wand hand. "James," he repeated, "you won't be able to heal her with magic.

"How the fuck would you know?" James demanded angrily. The room stilled, Sirius' face filled with surprise as he stopped his investigation of Voldemort's head to turn and look at his best friend, Lily looked embarrassed at her husband's outburst and Remus blinked at him in shock.

"They're cursed wounds James," Remus explained gently. "She's... I don't know how to explain it, her blood smells like Greyback, and she's part wolf but part... not. He must have attacked her right before she came here."

"She's infected?" Sirius asked, dropping to the floor next to Lily.

"She's not infected," Remus snarled. Sirius and Lily exchanged a nervous look. "She's... It's not the full moon and she... she doesn't smell like one of my kind, just... similar. We have to check her for bites, obviously but... I'm certain that she's not-" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She's not like me, or Greyback." Beside him Remus heard James let out a deep breath and then with a wave of his wand the girl's tattered jumper and the shirt underneath were vanished.

She was so thin, nearly skeletal, and Remus could have counted her ribs on sight if he'd felt like it. They all cringed at the sight of her malnourished body and the various scars that marred her skin. There were more wounds from Greyback, deep, ugly gashes on her right shoulder that would never fully heal. He heard Lily gasp and followed her gaze to the girl's left forearm where someone had carved _Mudblood_ into her skin. He flinched at the sight of the angry letters and had to avert his gaze to the rest of her to keep from vomiting.

She had a deep, purple scar that ran up the left side of her torso, starting just beneath her breast and ending near her hip. There were smaller, less painful looking wounds, silvery scars from what Remus would assume were from slicing hexes and a few angry looking burn scars as well.

He saw the faint glimmer of magic over her stomach, something he never would have noticed without his heightened senses, and he waved his wand over her body and whispered a _finite._ One the concealment charm was lifted there was no missing the small, telltale swell of her abdomen. There was a deafening silence in which none of them even dared to breathe before Lily leapt into action and began running diagnostic spells.

"I think..." Lily said, he voice shaking violently. "I think everything is okay, the spells say that both she and the... baby are healthy."

James took a deep breath. "Lily, she almost-"

"I know," Lily interrupted him, her eyes wide. James shook his head.

"No, you don't," he insisted. "He gave her the chance to step aside and she-" He groaned in frustration. "She told him that if he wanted to hurt us he would have to kill her." He stared at her, his eyes wide and full of tears. "She was willing to sacrifice her life for us. She was willing to sacrifice their lives for us." The desperation in James' voice was so thick it was amazing that he didn't choke on it.

"Mr. Potter, would you like to tell me what happened here?" They all jumped at the sound of a new voice in the room. They turned, wands drawn to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway of the living room. James nodded, looking somewhat reluctant.

"We were sitting on the couch watching Harry play with his dragon toys when Voldemort came into the house. I was getting Lily and Harry out of the room and up the stairs when there was this crazy breeze and a hole opened in the ceiling and she fell out of it," he explained, his eyes raking over her face as he spoke. "She got up and the next thing I knew she was dueling with him, she didn't even hesitate, she took one look at him and started throwing Avadas and Crucios.

"He was playing with her, he could have killed her anytime, she was bloody good but you could tell he was better, he told her that she could step aside and she refused. That was when I finally managed to get my hands on my wand and I tried to stun him. The moment he took his eyes off of her she dropped her wand and used the sword to cut his head off." Dumbledore's eyes were drawn to the sword.

"She's a Gryffindor," he said absently.

"What makes you say that?" Sirius asked in confusion. "Do you know her?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"I admit I do not remember her time at Hogwarts," he said sadly, "but only a true Gryffindor can wield the Sword of Godric Gryffindor. She must have proven herself worthy, in her time." Remus frowned at the Headmaster's obscure phrasing.

"In her time?" he asked uncertainly. He studied the old wizard carefully, feeling unnerved by the calm sort of indifference with which he held himself.

"This evening, as I was speaking with Professor Trelawney, the seer who delivered to me the prophecy that described the possibility of Harry being the one destined to destroy Voldemort, she delivered to me yet another prophecy," Dumbledore confessed. "A prophecy that spoke of the Chosen One's failure, bringing about the reversal of time and a reluctant heroine called the Traveler who would end Voldemort's reign and save us all." Remus looked away from Dumbledore and let his eyes fall back to the girl.

"She's from the future?" he asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"I believe so, yes," Dumbledore answered. "I also believe that we should move our new friend to somewhere she can receive medical attention." Remus nodded in agreement, eyeing her open wounds in concern. "I think the hospital wing at Hogwarts will do for the time being. Lily, you and James will need to stay here and give your statement to the Aurors. Sirius, you and Remus will come with me, if you please." They all nodded and Remus lifted the girl into his arms, not wanting to use a levitating charm but not fully trusting Sirius not to drop her. He followed Dumbledore through the floo to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello loves! Can I just say that I am amazed, shocked and amazed, at the response to the first chapter you guys! Thank you all SO much! You're all so wonderful, I can't fucking even right now. 69 reviews, 191 followers, and 78 favorites, that's amazing!**

 **There have been a few questions about an update schedule. I do not want to make promises I can't make so I'm going to say I will try to post biweekly, so every other Tuesday, but might not be able to but I will definitely be able to post at least once a month. I'm aware today is Sunday but I might be getting a little ahead of myself and I just couldn't wait!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2**_

 _ **May 2, 1998**_

 _Harry's body hit the floor with a dull thud that Hermione knew would haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life, provided she lived long enough to ever fall asleep again. All around her people were either cheering or screaming but Hermione couldn't hear any of it over the loud ringing in her ears._

 _She staggered forward a few steps, her mouth open in what she was sure must have been a heart wrenching scream. Someone grabbed her from behind and she struggled against them as she continued to try and run to her best friend's side, determined to make sure that he wasn't really dead._

" _Hermione," a familiar voice spoke low in her ear and she felt her stomach twist at the hollow resignation of his tone. "He's dead sweetheart, I'm so sorry."_

" _No!" she screamed, struggling harder to get out of his arms. "He's not dead! Not Harry, not him! Let go of me!" It was an act, like it had been the first time, when Voldemort had walked out of the forest and proudly announced that he had killed Harry Potter. Harry hadn't really been dead that time and he certainly wasn't dead this time. She refused to believe it._

" _I'm sorry Hermione, I'm so sorry," he whispered. She could hear the tears in his voice and it broke her heart because she knew that it was over, if he was crying then they really had lost Harry. Her best friend, his best friend's son._

" _No," she sobbed. "I don't believe you Remus! He's not really dead, he can't be dead, he just... he can't." She shattered, all of the fight draining out of her as she felt her own resignation set in, because she knew that this time Harry really was dead._

" _Bow to me," Voldemort demanded of the crowd before him. "Bow to me and I will let you live." Hermione watched in horror as a few of the people surrounding her and Remus hit their knees._

" _Never!" Neville Longbottom shouted, marching forward with his wand gripped tightly in his hand. Voldemort laughed coldly._

" _You are a fool, Neville Longbottom," he said. A jet of green light flew from the tip of his wand and Neville fell._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 2, 1981**_

She was not a peaceful sleeper. For two days Remus and his friends took turns sitting in the hospital wing with her and watched as she tossed and turned and sometimes screamed or even cried in her sleep. Even the Dreamless Sleep potion that Madam Pomfrey had given her hadn't been able to stop the nightmares that plagued the young witch.

Remus took turns with James and Sirius sitting beside her and holding her hand, sometimes they had to hold her down when she thrashed and screamed. She spoke in her sleep too, sometimes in a hushed whisper and other times in a fluent stream that was panicked and frightened. Lily, who had brought Harry along with her to visit, had cried as the girl had cried out for her mother. She'd distracted herself by straightening the girl's blankets and attempting to tidy the already immaculate space around them as the girl cried and begged for her parents to forgive her.

Remus listened closely as she said certain names, listening to the tone of her voice for clues to who was important to her. Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna. All were said in half choked whispers that spoke volumes. She loved them and they were dead.

The first time she said Sirius' name Sirius had fallen out of his chair in surprise. Remus had felt his stomach twist as she'd sobbed and begged for Sirius to come back, come back because Harry was hurting and he needed him. He knew by the way she said she was sorry over and over and over again that in whatever future she'd come from Sirius was dead.

When she'd said his name Remus had held his breath and waited, waited to hear what kind of horrors the future might hold for him but she'd merely repeated his name before mumbling incoherently and turning over onto her side.

It didn't escape his notice that she never cried out for Lily or James, or that the name she said most was Harry's. The first time she'd said it Harry had been in the room and he had stopped what he was doing to stare at her for a long moment with a concerned frown on his face before turning back to his dragon toys.

Not long after that Lily had reluctantly agreed to allow McGonagall to take Harry down to the Great Hall for dinner

"No, not Harry, not Harry. Please, anyone, anyone but him. Not Harry, not him, please," she begged. "He can't be dead. He can't. Not Harry." As she spoke her right hand moved to touch the cuff adorning her left wrist and there was a bright flash of light as she sobbed out Harry's name. Everyone stared in astonishment at the ghost-like image of a boy who, at first glance, look as if he could be James' twin.

His eyes, emerald green like Lily's, swept over the four of them, his mouth pulled down into a frown before his gaze fell to the girl. "Hermione," he murmured, reaching out to shake her shoulder, his frown deepening when his fingers went right through her. She whimpered softly at the sound of his voice. "She sleeps better if someone is holding her," he said, looking up at them.

Lily was staring at him with wide, tear filled eyes, and Remus knew that she was cataloging the boy's appearance carefully. He was shorter than James, and significantly skinnier, Remus suspected that if he were to take off his shirt his ribs would be easily visible. His hair was shaggy and badly cut, but still sticking up in odd places. There was a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead and an ugly, rope like scar running down his left forearm.

"Who are you?" James asked, though by the look on his face he already knew the answer.

The boy smiled widely, "Harry Potter."

"How?" Lily breathed, staring at him in wonder. His smile faded.

"I'm not sure," he answered, shrugging. "I'm not all knowing or anything."

"What do you know?" Sirius asked. Harry looked back down at the girl – _Hermione._

"She's going to need you, all of you. Because for all that she took care of me when we were growing up it was my turn to take care of her and... I'm not going to be here." His voice wavered slightly. "I'll never get to be 'Uncle Harry'. I'll never get to be a godfather to her baby."

"The baby isn't yours?" Remus blurted before he could stop himself. Harry blanched at the question. "She's said your name more than anyone else's... I just assumed..." Harry shook his head frantically.

"She's brilliant and I love her, but it's... she's the sister I never had," he hastened to explain. "She's been taking care of me since I was eleven, forcing me to do my homework and eat my vegetables and scolding me for eating too much treacle tart. She's my best friend." Remus felt his whole body relax slightly upon hearing that there had been nothing between Harry and Hermione in the future she'd come from. He wasn't sure why but he was inexplicably drawn to the witch and it would be inconvenient for her to have feelings for his best friend's son.

Harry let out a breath of laughter and smiled fondly down at his best friend. "She's allergic to strawberries," he murmured. "She likes chocolate but feels guilty for eating it because her parents were dentists and they would never let her have sweets. If she's reading something and she's very interested in the material she'll forget she needs to eat. She will talk you to death about creature rights and the barbaric, unfair nature of Umbridge's werewolf legislation. And don't ever get her started on house elves, trust me it's not a conversation you want to have with her."

"Does she..." Remus hesitated, unsure how to phrase the question.

"Know about you?" Harry supplied, nodding. "Yeah, she was the first of us to figure it out actually. She's... you once called her the brightest witch of her age, there's no hiding anything from her because she knows _everything_. She's observant and she picks up on things that most people miss."

"This is so fucking surreal," James blurted suddenly. Remus startled slightly, having forgotten that his friends were still in the room with them. "I just... you're my son... I... I can't even believe how-" He shook his head and and continued to stare at Harry with wide, fascinated eyes.

"What happened to you?" Lily asked. Remus' stomach twisted again at the raw emotion in her voice. Harry opened his mouth to say something when Hermione let out a soft sob, cutting him off. All eyes snapped to her as she began to cry again.

"Remus, let me go," she whimpered. "Please, he isn't dead Remus, he can't be dead. Tell me he isn't dead." She thrashed violently and Remus felt his heart ache at the distress in her voice when she said his name. She was so young, too young to sound so afraid and so lost.

"Hermione, love," Harry said, reaching out to touch her and looking immensely frustrated when his hands went right through her once again. "It's time to wake up."

..oo0O0oo..

She felt cold. Cold and sore and oddly desolate as her consciousness returned to her. The first thing she saw when her eyes fluttered open was Harry, _her Harry_ , and she was so utterly relieved at first, thinking that it all must have been a horrible nightmare, that when she attempted to take his hand only to grasp at empty air she felt as though she'd been impaled. All of the breath left her body and the pain in her chest was so severe that she cried out in dismay.

 _It wasn't a nightmare._

She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and attempted to control the shuddering sobs that threatened to overtake her. Her heart hammered in her chest as the icy chill of the room flooded through her body and for the second time in a short while a singular thought plagued her relentlessly. _It wasn't a nightmare._

"Everyone is dead," she whispered, her voice trembled and broke as the tears she'd been fighting against spilled over and rolled down her face. "Oh God..."

Harry was gone. Ron and Ginny and the twins. Neville and Luna and the rest of the DA, people she'd known for years, people she'd trusted with her life. People she'd loved. _Gone_. She was all that was left; she was, for the first time since her first year at Hogwarts, _alone._ Everyone was dead and _it wasn't a nightmare._

She drew in a deep, shuddering breath and let it back out in a heartbroken wail that echoed through the room, her grief and anguish made palpable by the sound. "Hermione it's okay, you're going to be okay," Harry breathed in her ear. "Breathe. Everything will be fine, I promise."

Hermione felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her, pulling her up out of the bed and into someone's lap and her eyes flew open in surprise.

Looking up into Sirius Black's face for the first time since he'd died two years before Hermione wasn't entirely sure what to feel as more memories pushed to the forefront of her mind and she remembered where, _when_ , exactly she was. Without thinking she threw her arms around Sirius' neck and buried her face in his chest, inhaling deeply as she cried.

He still smelled exactly like she remembered. Like leather and cedar and firewhiskey and it was something so achingly familiar that she could hardly bring herself to care that he had no idea who she was or why she was clinging to him so tightly.

"It's alright kitten, you're safe," he murmured, holding her back just as tightly.

"Hermione, I love you," she heard Harry whisper. She turned in Sirius' embrace to see that the ghostly image of her best friend had not been just a hallucination. He was there, standing next to the bed and looking at her with sad eyes. "I don't have a lot of time left." She stared at him, not sure what she should say. Not sure if there was anything she could say.

"I'm scared Harry," she admitted, her heart racing. "I can't do this without you." She reached out with one hand, desperate to touch him, to feel the comfort only he could give her.

"You can," he argued. "You're Hermione, you can do anything. You never needed me." His own hand came up to meet hers and she thought she might break when there was no contact.

She wanted to argue with him, to tell him that she'd always needed him, that he was the one thing that had kept her from giving up when things had gotten so hard she could barely stand it. But he was already fading, his image shimmering and going even more translucent. There was no time.

"I love you, so much," she sobbed as he faded into nothing. "Harry-" she choked, sucking in short frantic breaths as the panic rose up within her. _It wasn't a nightmare._ It was so, so much worse, because it was _real._

..oo0O0oo..

It didn't take her long to cry herself back to sleep in Sirius' arms. Remus watched them from his seat in the corner, doing his best not to growl at the sight of her curled up in his best friend's lap, clinging to him like a lifeline.

He knew that logically there was no reason for him to be so upset. He didn't know the girl at all and, with the exception of the brief amount of time that she had been awake and sobbing uncontrollably over the death of everyone she knew, he'd yet to be in a room with her when she was conscious. But there was something about her, a little voice inside of him that sounded suspiciously like Moony telling him that she was his.

Except she wasn't. The prominent bulge of her stomach was a testament to that fact.

"If you think any louder you're going to wake the poor girl up," Lily whispered, dragging her chair over to sit next to him. Remus sighed and tore his eyes away from the girl to focus on Lily.

"I was just thinking," he mumbled. Lily rose an eyebrow.

"I gathered that much Remus," she said. "What about?" He thought for a minute about how to answer her, he could never lie to Lily – mostly because she could always tell and would hit him when she caught him doing it – but he wasn't ready to face what he was feeling and the implications of what it could mean.

"She's Harry's best friend," he answered softly. "Harry's best friend from the future dropped out of the sky and beheaded the world's darkest wizard in your living room." Lily nodded.

"Magic is a funny thing," she murmured, "every time I think I've got it figured out it manages to surprise me."

"The scars and the nightmares and this prophecy... Lily something horrible happened to her." He exhaled roughly, dragging a hand through his hair. "I can't- When she woke up and she- I didn't know that humans could make that kind of noise. I've never heard something so..."

"Heart breaking?" Lily finished. "This is going to be hard for her. Where she's from everyone is dead, here they're at least fifteen years younger than they were when she knew them, her best friend is only a year old for Merlin's sake. But I'm going to make sure she's happy here, for Harry, because he... he said that she took care of him and I owe her for that."

"It's more than that though, isn't it?" Remus looked over to watch Lily's face. She swallowed hard and looked down at the floor.

"Did you see her arm?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did."

Lily looked up to meet his eyes. "All I could think was how horrible it must be to have that _carved_ into your skin. A permanent reminder that you're an outsider, that you'll never truly belong." She sniffled and Remus put an arm around her. "I don't want her to be alone Remus. She has to know that she has a place with us, if she wants it."

"She will," Remus agreed. "I don't care if she wants us or not, she's going to get us. She was Harry's best friend, she saved you and James, she's our friend and she'll have a tough go of trying to get rid of us."

"What are we whispering about?" James asked, walking over to where they were sitting, a sleeping Harry nestled in his arms.

"We were plotting how we were going to go about forcing our friendship on Hermione whether she likes it or not," Lily answered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I don't think we'd quite gotten around to the plotting part yet," Remus disagreed. James shrugged.

"Not much to plot, I figure if we hang around long enough she'll get the picture eventually," he reasoned. "Besides, I'm the closest thing to Harry around, so I figure that automatically qualifies me to be godfather to the baby." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Honestly James, never say that to her," she scolded halfheartedly.

"Oi!" Sirius whispered yelled across the room at them. "I hate to break up your little pow-wow but can someone take her? I need to use the loo." Remus nodded and stood up, walking forward to lift Hermione out of Sirius' arms and into his own, pushing down the relief he felt that his friend was no longer touching her. He stepped aside so that Sirius could get by him before sitting down in the chair he'd abandoned.

Hermione took a deep breath and pressed herself more firmly against him. "Remus," she sighed. He held his breath for a few seconds, waiting for her to show signs of waking up. After a few moments she said his name again before slipping back into her dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello loves! I'm here with another chapter, and this one comes with slightly less angst! (Slightly less because, it's me, and if you ever read something of mine with zero angst you should be concerned.) Also, I know I said updates would be on Tuesdays, but Tuesdays don't work for me. I have Sundays off most weeks so Sunday is now Update and Sneak Peek day.**

 **Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter you guys, I love you all so much and the fact that you love this story means so, so much to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 3**_

 _ **June 20, 1996**_

 _The first thing she noticed when she woke up was that someone was holding her hand while they ran a cool hand lightly over her face and through her hair. Her eyes fluttered open but it was too dark to see anything. She tried to move and that's when she noticed the pain, she closed her eyes and drew a sharp breath, trying to hold back the whimper that threatened to escape._

" _Hermione?" The hand on her hair stilled and she bit back a sob at the sound of the gentle voice coming from beside her._

" _Professor Lupin?" she whispered._

" _I haven't been your professor in a long time Hermione, and I've told you to call me Remus," he murmured. Hermione frowned._

" _Remus, what happened?" she asked. She tried to move and couldn't manage to contain her small sound of pain. Remus shushed her and resumed stroking her hair._

" _What do you remember?" he asked. She thought about it for a moment, contemplating her answer._

 _She remembered the Department of Mysteries, running through the endless corridors and sending hexes over her shoulder when the Death Eaters got too close for comfort. She remembered a sneering face and purple flames._

" _Dolohov, I silenced him and then there were these pretty, purple flames," she recalled._

" _If you hadn't silenced him you would be dead," Remus whispered. "You almost died, whatever curse Dolohov used did severe internal organ damage."_

" _Harry..." Hermione groaned, trying to sit up._

" _Hermione stop, you're going to hurt yourself," Remus chided, placing a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to lay back down. "Harry is fine... physically... he's... emotionally he's a bit of a wreck." Hermione felt a familiar chill settle in the center of her chest at the tone of his voice. The same tone that Dumbledore had used when he'd announced Cedric Diggory's death to the school a year earlier._

" _Who did we lose?" she asked, doing her best to keep her voice from shaking. There was a long silence, interrupted only by the soft, ragged breaths of her former professor. It took her longer than it should have to realize that he was crying. "Remus? Who was it?" He let out a sob and dread pooled in her gut as the realization dawned on her. "Remus is Sirius with Harry?" she asked, praying that he would say yes. Yes Sirius was with Harry and she was wrong and he wasn't dead._

" _No," he told her and she started to cry. "Sirius is gone."_

Sirius is gone _. Everything they had done had been for nothing. Breaking into the ministry to save Sirius, only to find out that they had been tricked. Well, Harry had been tricked, Hermione had known that it was a trap but he never listened to her. And now Sirius was dead; because of them._

" _Harry... Remus I have to-" She moved to sit up again but another wave of pain rolled through her making her groan and fall back._

" _You need to rest, go to sleep," Remus murmured. "You can play mother hen later, when you've recovered."_

 _She didn't want to rest. She didn't want to sleep, how could she sleep when Harry needed her? Sirius was the closest thing to a family that Harry had left, Harry must have been devastated that he was dead. Her heart squeezed painfully at the thought. She had loved Sirius, even if he was a bit immature and they had different views when it came to house elves. For all that she had been disapproving of his drinking and his inability to be responsible she thought that he was a wonderful person. And he loved Harry, which in Hermione's book made up for everything else._

 _Another sob from Remus drew her attention and she cried a little harder. It had been years since he'd lost James and Lily and Sirius and Peter all in one day. Since two of his best friends had died and one had gone to Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit while the real traitor went into hiding. He'd just gotten Sirius back and now he was alone again and Hermione's heart ached for him._

" _Remus, I'm so sorry," she breathed. "I'm... if I had... I should have tried harder-"_

" _Shh, that's enough," he said, smoothing her hair back away from her face and dropping a light kiss to her forehead. "Go to sleep." Hermione sighed and relaxed, knowing that it would be useless to argue with him._

 _She was just about to drift off when the idea occurred to her and the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Teach me to duel."_

" _You already know how to duel, they taught you that in second year," he reminded her sternly. Hermione shook her head._

" _No, teach me to win," she corrected herself. "I never want to feel this powerless again." Remus sighed heavily and she could almost hear him weighing the pros and cons in his head._

" _I will help you," he agreed, "if you promise me that you will go to sleep now and wait until you are fully recovered before getting out of this bed."_

 _She smiled, secretly relieved at his answer, she'd expected him to fight her. "I promise." She took a deep breath and let herself fall back into a dreamless sleep._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 3, 1981**_

When she woke for the second time she was alone. She lay on her lumpy hospital bed and stared at the ceiling for a long while before sitting up to look around the room. Her mind was, for once, quiet. She took in the familiar sight of Hogwarts' hospital wing and closed her eyes, shuttering out the overwhelming memories that she was sure would break her if she let them.

She took a deep breath in and attempted to think of anything other than what Hogwarts had looked like the last time she'd seen it. As she let out the breath she reminded herself that it hadn't happened yet, and – if she played her cards right – it wouldn't happen at all. It was 1981, not 1998, and she needed to remember that.

Her eyes opened again and she was surprised to see Madam Pomfrey standing at the foot of her bed. She was, obviously, younger than she had been the last time Hermione had seen her, her kind face held far less worry and fewer lines.

"You're awake," she stated in her usual matter-of-fact tone. "That's good, I was starting to wonder if I would have to transfer you to St. Mungos'." Hermione gave her a timid smile, unsure of what she should say. She didn't know how she'd come to be in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, or what the people in this time knew about her. "I want you to take these," Madam Pomfrey continued, ignoring Hermione's lack of verbal response and shoving a tray full of potion vials at her. "You're too skinny, it's not good for the baby, so there's a potion there to help you gain weight along with a prenatal potion and something to help keep your energy levels up. The rest of them are for healing and pain control, unfortunately the scars on your face and shoulder will never fully heal, and they're going to hurt for a long time."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," Hermione murmured politely before uncorking one of the vials and taking a tentative sip. She grimaced at the taste before downing the entire thing in a single gulp and repeating the process with the rest of the potions.

"Your friends are all in a meeting with Dumbledore at the moment," the hospital matron told her. "They were very reluctant to leave you but the Headmaster insisted. They should be back any moment now." Hermione frowned.

"My friends?" she asked. Vaguely she thought of Harry and Ron, who had always made a habit of hovering over her bedside whenever she was in the hospital wing.

"Mr and Mrs Potter, Mr Black, and Mr Lupin, of course!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, as if it should be obvious. "Lily and James have been back and forth, they have that darling baby boy to take care of, and Sirius has been busy at the Auror's office dealing with the aftermath of you-know-who's downfall – so many people have questions and the Ministry is keeping a tight lid on what really happened until you've recovered, so things are quite hectic – but it's been like pulling teeth to get Remus to leave your side for more than a few minutes at a time." Hermione shifted uncomfortably and her hand strayed absently to her stomach. She rubbed at the bulge in small, soothing circles. It was a habit that she had developed during her turns on watch while they'd been on the run.

"She's healthy, a bit small, considering you're eighteen weeks along, but your baby is fine Hermione," Madam Pomfrey told her when she noticed the unconscious gesture. Hermione smiled softly. "I noticed, when I ran the diagnostic tests, that she has a very strong magical signature already. It's uncommon for a child to have magic that strong unless-"

"Uncommon but not impossible," Hermione said quickly, cutting off the conversation before it could get out of hand. She knew exactly what Madam Pomfrey was trying to do and she wasn't about to fall for it. "Do you know when the Potters and their friends will be back? I'd like to meet them, officially."

"Well they- Meet them?" Madam Pomfrey gaped at her. "You mean... you don't actually know them?" Hermione shook her head.

"Not really, I know them by reputation, but we've never been introduced."

"B-but Remus-" Madam Pomfrey snapped her mouth closed and gave Hermione an assessing look. "I'm sure they'll be back soon," she assured her. "If you don't need anything else dear I'll be in my office." Hermione nodded in acknowledgment and watched as the woman swept out of the room.

Quietly she crawled out of her bed, ignoring her protesting muscles, and picked up her beaded bag from where it sat on her bedside table. She dug through it and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a random Quidditch jersey, she hated hospital gowns and she couldn't get out of the one she was wearing fast enough. It was itchy and she sighed in relief at the contrasting softness of the well worn jersey.

She was about to climb back into the bed again when a familiar scent registered in the back of her mind and she nearly fell to the floor in surprise. She closed her eyes and brought the collar of the jersey up to her nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled like sandalwood and apples and broom handle polish. Like Harry.

It occurred to her then that she wasn't sure how she was going to survive this, being in a time where her best friend was only an infant. Where would she go? It wasn't like she could knock on her parent's door and tell them who she was, they were muggles, they'd have her shipped to the nearest psych ward as soon as she opened her mouth. All at once the seriousness of her situation hit her and she fought back the urge to cry again.

"Hermione?" Her head shot up at the sound of the gentle female voice. Lily Potter was standing in the doorway, her husband and his friends standing slightly behind her, staring at her with familiar, emerald green eyes. Hermione let the shirt drop away from her face and she attempted to stand as tall as she could, determined that she would not let them see her break down again.

..oo0O0oo..

Remus watched over Lily's shoulder as Hermione drew herself up to her full height, her chin lifting slightly as she put on a brave face. He wondered what kind of strength it took to shut her emotions down the way he'd just seen her do. There was no doubt in his mind that had Lily not announced their presence then Hermione would have broken down and cried again. It was in the way that her eyes had been squeezed tightly shut and her nose had crinkled up and her shoulders had trembled.

The moment that she'd realized that she was not alone her eyes had hardened, her expression went stony and she stood proud and tall. Impassive. Immovable. She was a statue of fierce determination, a pillar of strength. A warrior. This girl, beautiful and brave and young, was a warrior. War hardened, with wide brown eyes that had seen far too much for someone so young. If he were any other man he might have been intimidated by the wisdom in those eyes.

There was a long stretch of silence before she relaxed slightly, allowing herself to stand a little more neutrally. Remus watched the tension in her shoulders fade slightly, although he knew that the slightest move in the wrong direction would have it appearing again.

"I-" Hermione bit her lip nervously, her eyes flitting from Lily to James to him to Sirius before going back to Lily again. "Um- Hello," she said tentatively. "It's- I- Uh, I beg your pardon but I have to ask, you are Lily Potter, correct?" Remus felt his eyebrows raise in surprise, she'd caught on to what had happened to her a lot quicker than he'd thought she would.

"Yes, I'm Lily," Lily agreed. "This is my husband, James, and I believe that you might already know-"

"Sirius and Remus, yes, we were acquainted in the... er... future." Hermione acknowledged them with a brief nod.

"Are you- Well I suppose that would be a stupid question, of course you're not alright, but are you feeling... well?" Lily asked awkwardly. Hermione nodded.

"I believe that, as a person who woke up sixteen years in the past, I'm doing quite well," she lied. Remus could tell that it was a lie, he wasn't quite sure how, but that voice in his head kept repeating it over and over again. _Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie._ He pushed the voice away, if she wanted them to know how she was really feeling she would tell them. "Could you tell me how long I was out?" she asked.

"It's been three days," Lily told her. Hermione nodded again, frowning slightly as she appeared to be thinking quite hard on something. She reached into the little beaded bag in front of her and dug around a bit before pulling out a bar of Honeyduke's chocolate.

Hermione tossed the candy bar to Sirius, who fumbled it a bit before finally managing to catch it, and gave him a bright smile. "Happy Birthday." Sirius stared at her for a moment before looking down at the chocolate bar.

"I'd forgotten," he admitted. Remus and James looked at each other sheepishly, feeling guilty because they'd forgotten too.

"You can come in out of the doorway, I reckon Sirius is more likely to bite than I am," she told them as she attempted to climb back up onto her bed. Remus watched the way that she cradled her swollen stomach with her injured arm, she winced and before he could stop himself he was pushing past his friends and hurrying to her side.

He hated how light she was when he lifted her, like she was made of air and spun glass. She gave him a small, shy smile as he helped her rearrange herself on the bed so that she was comfortable. "Thank you," she murmured, looking up at him. Their close proximity meant that he could see that her eyes weren't just brown, they were like rich chocolate threaded with amber, with little flecks of green and a ring of honey gold in the center.

Remus stepped back so that he was no longer in her space but he couldn't seem to bring himself to walk back around the bed and stand with his friends. He was hovering, he realized with no small amount of horror, but if Hermione was uncomfortable or even noticed she didn't say anything. His friends were all staring at him, James and Sirius both looked confused while Lily seemed to be amused.

"Do you feel up to our company today?" Lily asked Hermione, drawing the attention away from Remus. "These three can be pretty overwhelming if you aren't used to them." She gestured to Remus and his friends.

"Oi!" James and Sirius protested at the same time.

"I'm sure that they can't be nearly as bad as the Weasley twins," Hermione said, eyeing the two of them carefully. Remus noticed the way that she purposefully didn't look at him. "Even then, I lived in a tent with Harry and Ron for seven months, there isn't a lot that they can do that can scare me." Lily made a strangled sort of sound and Hermione slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Why was my son living in a tent for seven months?" Lily demanded. "You said sixteen years in the future, if that's true then Harry wouldn't even be out of Hogwarts yet."

"We dropped out," Hermione admitted.

"You what?!" James shouted, looking absolutely horrified. Hermione cringed slightly.

"It's a long story, I'm not even sure where to start."

"The beginning is usually a pretty good place," Remus advised. Hermione turned to look at him through narrowed eyes.

"Don't you patronize me Remus John Lupin," she snapped. He had to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine when she used his full name, lest she notice and see just how much she was affecting him.

"Story?" Everyone turned to see Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway, Harry balanced effortlessly on her hip. "I wan' story!"

..oo0O0oo..

Hermione felt all of the breath leave her body at the sight of the tiny, raven haired boy in McGonagall's arms. She felt fresh tears spring to her eyes and she nearly choked on her efforts to keep them from falling. Her heart was beating so hard that it was practically threatening to stampede out of her chest.

She watched, transfixed, as Harry squirmed and whined to be put down. "Wan' story!" he squawked. McGonagall set him down on the ground and Hermione watched as he marched across the room towards her bed.

Vaguely Hermione was aware of the other people in the room with her, she could hear Lily and McGonagall talking to one another but couldn't seem to make out what they were saying. The entire world had zeroed in on the pint-sized version of her best friend and she couldn't think, or move, or even breathe.

There was grief and sorrow sitting in the pit of her stomach like a heavy stone that this little boy, though he might be genetically the same, would never be the boy that she had grown up with. Her Harry, her shy, awkward, selfless Harry, would never exist and a huge part of her mourned him even while another part of her celebrated that he would have the life he'd always deserved. He would be loved, he would have his parents, he would never be starved or mistreated by bigoted people who had no business to be raising a child.

He reached her bed and looked up at her with his large green eyes and Hermione's heart cracked when she saw the determination that was so familiar to her after seven years of friendship. How odd it was to see that look on his face as a small child while knowing that it was the same look he wore going into battle as a man. The same look he'd worn when he'd walked into the forest to meet his death.

With a show of surprising strength Hermione watched as Harry pulled himself up onto the mattress and plopped himself down in her lap. "Story!" he demanded, his eyes never leaving her face. She swallowed hard and a few stray tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she tried to think of something to say. Where should she begin? What was the beginning of the story?

She took a deep breath and pushed all of her emotions into a box before tucking it away in another part of her mind to be opened and dealt with later. Drawing on all of her Gryffindor courage Hermione started her story the only way she knew how.

"Once upon a time..."


	4. Chapter 4

**What? What's this? A sneak attack chapter? A Christmas present for all of you lovely readers? Yes, yes, exactly. MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU GUYS! And if you don't celebrate Christmas then happy random update day! I LOVE YOU ALL!**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter, you guys are so wonderful!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 4**_

 _ **August 28, 1996**_

 _She was exhausted. As she ducked another stunner and fired off a rapid series of slicing hexes she heard Remus curse loudly. She was drenched with sweat, her simple black t-shirt and denim shorts clinging to her body and making her extremely uncomfortable. They had been dueling for nearly an hour and neither of them had managed to land anything on the other. It was a testament to how much she'd improved, he'd disarmed her after twenty seconds during their first duel, although she still maintained that he had cheated._

"The first thing you have to know about dueling is to watch your opponent," he'd said as they bowed to one another. "You should always know what their next move is going to be, you should be able to read their body language well enough" – he flicked his wrist and Hermione's wand soared out of her hands – "that they can never surprise you." He returned her wand to her with a kind smile and she glared at him.

"You didn't even wait for me to be ready!" she protested. Remus laughed at her.

"You're smarter than that Hermione, no Death Eater is going to stand around and wait for you to be ready to fight them," he scolded her. "If you're facing off against a Death Eater and you aren't ready then you're not going to be disarmed, you're going to be dead."

 _It was the first lesson he'd taught her and she would never forget it because she knew better than anyone that it was the truth. The scar Dolohov had left on her was proof enough of that._

" _Are you ready to concede?" Remus asked her, his breathing just as ragged as hers. Hermione grinned at him and shot off another set of hexes, a few of them she managed non-verbally._

"Never concede," he told her seriously one night after a particularly brutal duel that had left her with a few new scars on her stomach from slicing hexes she'd failed to block. "Fight until either your opponent is defeated or you are but never concede. It's better to go down fighting than to go down as a coward." He handed her a bottle of water and she drank from it greedily.

"I highly doubt a Death Eater would honor a concession anyway," she mused. Remus nodded in agreement.

"Never concede, fight harder and hope that you live."

 _She put up the strongest shield she could, blocking the next three hexes that came her way before firing off two slicing hexes followed by a stunner. Remus managed to block the first two but the stunner hit him directly in the chest, rendering him unconscious._

"How will I know I'm good enough?" she asked him after their third lesson. Remus smiled and shrugged.

"If you can beat me then I suppose you could beat just about anyone," he said. "Except maybe Dumbledore, or Voldemort himself." Hermione smirked at him.

"You're so modest Remus," she teased. "What about Mad-Eye?"

"Alright, maybe not him either," Remus laughed.

"And Professor Snape?" she challenged. His eyes narrowed.

"I'm sure that Severus is more than adept in a duel, but good enough to beat me?" He shook his head. "Not likely." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, from what I've seen he's pretty good. I think you might be over confident in your abilities," she suggested innocently. He growled and she barely managed to dodge the hex he sent her way.

"Rennervate!" _Hermione revived her dueling partner before sitting down in the grass next to him. He blinked up at her in surprise._

" _What happened?" he asked, sitting up slowly. Hermione smiled at him._

" _You lost," she informed him cheerfully. He groaned._

" _You're going to be insufferable now, aren't you?" he teased lightly. Hermione smiled, pleased at the playful banter._

 _It had taken a while for Remus to feel comfortable enough with her to drop his 'Professor' persona. He was still unfailingly polite, but the stiff formality she'd grown used to over the years she'd known him had lessened dramatically._

" _Hasn't anyone told you?" Hermione asked in feigned surprise. "I've always been insufferable."_

" _I'm sure," Remus returned dryly. "You've improved well beyond what I expected. Though I suppose someday I'll learn to stop underestimating you."_

" _Thank you, Remus," Hermione murmured. "You- I know that you probably had better things to do with your time then train me to duel-"_

" _You're Harry Potter's best friend, you're a muggleborn, not to mention the brightest witch I've ever met. Hermione you're in danger all the time simply because you're you," he objected. "I really cannot think of anything that I'd rather do than teach you to adequately protect yourself."_

" _Wouldn't do to have another Dolohov incident," she muttered sullenly. A dark look crossed his face._

" _No, I would say not."_

" _I mean it though, Remus, thank you," she told him sincerely. "All joking aside I'm very grateful that you took the time to help me." She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek but as she moved he turned his head to look at her and her lips brushed softly against his in the barest caress. Her eyes shot wide and she pulled back slightly to find Remus staring at her, his usually green eyes turned amber._

" _I- I'm sorry," Hermione stammered. "I meant to kiss you on the cheek but you turned your-" she was cut off by his lips on hers. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, what girl would when they'd had a crush on him for as long as she had? Eagerly she melted into him, allowing her hands to come up to rest on his shoulders as he used his hands on her waist to tug her closer. It was, she thought, the most passionate kiss she'd ever had and also, strangely, the most innocent._

 _One would expect a man so addicted to chocolate to taste like chocolate, so Hermione was surprised when his tongue tangled with hers that he tasted like cinnamon and vanilla. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it ended and they pulled away from each other._

 _Hermione blinked up at him in confusion. "Remus?"_

" _Hermione, forgive me," he said as he rose to his feet. "It's a full moon tonight, I lost control of myself for a moment." Hermione felt her heart sink at the sudden return of his 'Professor' voice. She stood as well, making sure to make eye contact with him as she did so._

" _I understand," she said, doing her best to sound unaffected, although she was anything but. Her heart was racing frantically and she knew that he could hear it. She wanted to say something, to tell him that it was okay and that it didn't matter, but it_ did _matter and he was already edging away from her, wandering back towards the Burrow._

" _I'll see you on the thirty first," he told her. "I have to go, you did very well today Hermione." She thought she might cry as she watched him practically run from her. It was just a kiss, she thought bitterly, just a kiss and it had ruined everything._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 3, 1981**_

"Once upon a time there was a little orphan boy who lived in the cupboard under the stairs of his aunt and uncle's house," Hermione began, her voice strong and clear and somehow not betraying her emotional turmoil over holding Harry in her lap. "He was not loved or cherished like other little boys, he was neglected and abused because though he was quiet and well behaved he was different. You see, the little boy could do magic, and his aunt and uncle _despised_ magic.

"When the little boy turned eleven a strange, giant man came to the door and told him all about a special school for children just like him, children who could do impossible things." She couldn't bring herself to look anywhere but at Harry as she spoke, desperately afraid to see the looks on Lily and James' faces as they listened to what would have become of their son if they had died. "So on September first the little boy boarded the train that would take him to his magical school.

"Little did the boy know that on the train with him was a little girl who had grown up feeling just as lonely as he had. The little girl's parents were dentists and they were always busy and never had any time to spend with their daughter. Other children didn't like her because she was strange, because she preferred books to toys and could make funny things happen when she was upset.

"The first time they met the little girl was helping another boy find his lost familiar, a toad named Trevor who was always escaping." Hermione gave a small smile at the memory. "She was so eager to show everyone how smart she was, to prove to them that she could belong in their world that the very first thing she did when she sat down in his compartment was use her newly acquired wand to fix his glasses.

"Now the little boy had already made friends with a red haired boy, and the red haired boy didn't like the little girl so the little boy and the little girl never got the opportunity to be friends until one night, on Halloween, a very bad man set a mountain troll loose in the castle," Hermione explained, feeling her throat constrict painfully as she thought of the two months she'd spent at Hogwarts before Harry and Ron had become her friends. "Earlier that day the little girl had tried to help the red haired boy in class, but he was mean to her and laughed because she had no friends, so she spent the whole day in the girl's bathroom crying and didn't know that there was a troll loose.

"The little boy remembered that the little girl was in the bathroom and so he forced his red haired friend to come with him to get her, but when they got to the bathroom where she was the troll had already found her and was trying to kill her using the large club he was carrying." Harry was staring up at her in wonder, and Hermione had to take a deep breath before continuing because she knew that she was about to start crying again. "Because they were only first years none of them knew any magic that could save the girl, and because the girl was so frightened she never really saw how any of it happened but somehow the little boy had ended up on the mountain troll's back and he shoved his wand straight up the troll's nose while the other boy used a spell to levitate the troll's club out of his hand and drop it on the troll's head to knock him unconscious.

"When the teachers asked what had happened the little girl lied, and told them that she had run off looking for the troll and that the boys had saved her from her own stupidity, so that the boys wouldn't get into trouble. And from that moment on they were the best of friends, inseparable almost, and the little orphan boy and a the little muggle girl found in each other the siblings that they'd always wanted. They knew that as long as they had each other they would never be-" she squeezed her eyes shut and choked back a sob. "-they would never be alone ever again."

"Why cryin'?" Harry asked, reaching up and placing a tiny hand on her cheek. Her eyes flew open. "No cry, is otay." His little face was scrunched up in confusion and concern and Hermione let out a half laugh, half sob.

He was still the same, completely different in many ways but still her kind, considerate Harry. She hoped that somehow she could learn to live with this Harry, this miniature, and far more outgoing, version of the most important person in her life. Hoped that someday it wouldn't hurt quite as much to look at him as it did right then.

Hermione reached up to brush away her tears, flinching when her hand brushed against the bandage that covered the majority of the left half of her face. She would be permanently scarred, something that wouldn't normally bother her but, well, it was her _face_. It was one thing for her to have the scars on her body where she could hide them if she wanted to, but she couldn't do that with her face. It was a blow to the little female vanity she actually possessed.

"Uh oh, boo-boo," Harry said, as if noticing the bandage on her face for the first time. He climbed to his feet and stood on her legs, his hands placed on her shoulders for balance as he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss over the bandage. "All better!" he exclaimed before plopping back down into a sitting position.

Before she could stop herself Hermione pulled the little boy into a hug and kissed him on the forehead, directly where his lightning bolt scar would have been. "Thank you Harry," she murmured, breathing him in. She felt a pang of bitterness that he did not smell the way she remembered, the way he was supposed to, and she wondered if that would change now too. Had she lost that scent completely now that she'd changed everything?

..oo0O0oo..

It didn't take long for Harry to fall asleep in Hermione's arms. Remus watched her as she rocked him gently back and forth, humming a tune he didn't recognize. She was going to be a wonderful mother, he thought.

It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with Harry's enthusiasm – Remus had a feeling that the Harry she'd know had been much more reserved – but she clearly loved him very much. The way she'd talked about him when she'd been telling their story made it clear that Harry was a lot of things to her. A brother, a hero, a rock. The most important person in the world.

It almost made him feel sorry for the poor sod that had gotten her pregnant. Almost. It couldn't have been easy for him, whoever he was, to know that he would always come second, but then Remus remembered that someone had touched her, had been with her, and all his sympathy was swept away by white hot anger. He hated the idea of anyone touching her.

Remus shook himself and swallowed the growl that was threatening to break free of his control. Harry was snoring softly as Hermione continued to rock him and hum quietly. Out of the corner of his eye Remus could see Sirius watching her, his eyes full of tears.

"Where was I?" he asked, startling her slightly. "You said he was raised by his aunt and uncle, where was I? Why didn't I have him?" Hermione stared at him for long moment before opening her mouth to speak. Nothing came out and she let out a loud sigh before looking away from him.

"You... Sirius... Fuck, this is hard," she groaned. She looked up at him again. "You were in Azkaban." The silence that met her proclamation was deafening. Remus felt his heart squeeze painfully at the thought of Sirius in Azkaban, surrounded by Dementors.

"Why?" James asked gruffly. His eyes were red rimmed and he had tear tracks on his face from earlier when he'd been listening to Hermione's story. Her eyes drifted to him and Remus felt his stomach clench in response to the sadness in her eyes.

"After you died," Hermione began, flinching at the sob that tore out of Lily's throat, "Sirius went after Peter, when he finally caught up to him, in muggle London, the bastard shouted for everyone in the street to hear that Sirius was the one who had betrayed you and Lily then he cut his finger off and used a blasting curse before transforming and scurrying away. He killed a dozen muggles and Sirius was blamed. They didn't even give him a trial." Sirius dropped into the nearest chair, his expression one Remus had seen a thousand times before. Guilt. Anger. Hopelessness. Grief.

"How long?" he asked.

"Twelve years." He looked up at her sharply.

"It took twelve year to clear my name?"

Hermione shook her head. "It took twelve years for you to escape. There was a massive manhunt for you. Your name was never cleared. Harry spent all of our third year thinking you were trying to kill him. That's another, very long story." She ran a hand through her wild hair and scowled when her fingers got caught in it. "Telling you lot everything is going to take ages."

Remus didn't miss the way that her eyelids had started to droop. She was exhausted, and only hanging on because she felt like she had to. "Maybe we should revisit this conversation later," he suggested, stepping forward to lift Harry out of her lap. "You should rest."

"I've been sleeping for days," she protested. "There are so many things that need to be done, I need to start planning my next course of action. I need to find a job and a place to live before my child makes their appearance. I need to study to take my N.E.W.T.s so that I can get a decent job. Oh Merlin, I need to make a list. I wonder if I could be given permission to use the library."

"Hermione, you need to sleep," Remus insisted as he laid Harry down on the empty bed next to hers. "You've been through a traumatic experience and I can tell that you're exhausted, would you please just take a nap." Hermione lifted her chin defiantly.

"I don't have to listen to _you_ ," she snapped. Remus flinched at the anger in her voice. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Damn it. I'm sorry Remus, that wasn't fair. I'm having a hard time separating you and older you. We were fighting, I was mad at you, and I- I'm still mad but it's not at you, just... him. I'm sorry." Remus frowned at the look on her face, he could hardly believe that one person could hold so much guilt for simply snapping at someone. He suspected that there was a lot more going on than she was willing to tell him.

"Why were we fighting?" he asked. Hermione sighed.

"Because you're bossy," she deadpanned. "You followed me around the battle like some chivalrous idiot, interrupting my duels and trying to convince me to go to a safe house and _hide._ " She rolled her eyes. "As if I were some delicate princess to be locked away in a tower instead of a fully capable witch, personally trained by one of the best duelists in the country." Remus raised an eyebrow at that.

"You're pregnant, I can hardly think that I would allow you to fight in a battle in your condition," he said seriously. Hermione glared at him.

"Try to keep me out of a fight Lupin and you'll learn quite quickly why most of Hogwarts was afraid of me," she threatened.

"Who trained you?" Sirius asked, eyeing her warily, as if she might jump up out of her bed and hex him. Judging by the look on her face Remus felt that very well may have been a possibility.

"Remus," she said. He looked at her in confusion.

"Yeah?" he asked when she didn't continue. She was still glaring at him and it had him fighting against his instincts to get in her personal space and show her who the alpha wolf was in their situation.

"Sirius asked who trained me, I answered him," she explained.

"Me?" he asked incredulously. Hermione nodded.

"You," she agreed. "Professor R. J. Lupin, expert duelist and Harry Potter wrangler extraordinaire."

" _Professor?_ " Remus squeaked.

"Yes, you were our Defense professor in our third year," Hermione informed him, yawning. "The best one we ever had too, your students were quite upset when you resigned. I still remember your first lesson, it was brilliant." She laid back so her head was resting on her pillow. Her eyelids fluttered, and Remus knew they were losing her. "You taught us about boggarts..." Her voice trailed off as she fell asleep.

"What are we going to do?" James asked after a few tense moments of silence. He seemed to have pulled himself together and was in the process of trying to get Lily to stop crying.

"We're going to redecorate the extra room in my flat and tell her she doesn't have a choice in the matter, we're going to take care of her," Sirius said firmly. Remus growled at him.

"She's not one of your little girlfriends Sirius," he said in a warning tone. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

"No she's not," he agreed. "She's a miracle. Without her James and Lily would be dead, I'd be in Azkaban and you'd be all alone in the world thinking that I'd betrayed you. Did you see the way she looked at me yesterday Remus? Like I could make everything better? She looked at me like she needed me. No one has ever looked at me like that before. You like her, I can tell by the way you glare at me whenever I get too close to her and the way you hover over her constantly, I don't want to get in your way but I do want to help her."

"You're not going to try anything with her?" Remus asked, eyeing Sirius suspiciously. Sirius huffed at him.

"For Merlin's sake Remus, the girl is pregnant! We don't know who her baby's father is or if she still has feelings for him, not to mention the fact that you've got yourself twisted up like a pretzel over her, of course I'm not going to try anything!" Remus felt the blood drain from his face at the thought that Hermione might still be in love with the father of her child. He'd never even considered that she might be grieving for him, he'd simply been jealous that someone else had touched her. Now he felt like an insensitive arse.

"Fine," he agreed, "we'll redecorate, get things ready for her and the baby. When she wakes up again we'll tell her what we've decided." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, savoring her scent for a moment before turning to his friends. They were staring at him as if they'd never seen him before. "What?" he asked, feeling uncomfortable under their scrutiny.

"Remus, is she-" Lily bit her lip and hiccuped slightly. Her eyes darted from him to Hermione and back again. "She's your mate, isn't she?" she asked. Remus sighed.

"Yeah," he agreed, "I think she is."


	5. Chapter 5

****HAPPY NEW YEAR! OMG, I beg you please, do not get used to weekly updates. I just want to get back to our normal schedule which means that the next update will be in two weeks, because Ashen needs a nap so bad guys.****

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 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

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 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 5**_

 _ **August 31, 1996**_

 _Remus was avoiding her. He couldn't help but to feel a little bit like a coward but he couldn't seem to bring himself to face her either. When he arrived at the Burrow he'd immediately noticed that she was nowhere in sight and for a moment he'd been disappointed, and then, directly after, he'd been upset with himself. He had no right to be disappointed, not seeing her would be a good thing._

 _He hated himself for the relief he felt when she'd walked into the kitchen with Ginny, a warm smile stretched across her face when she saw him. He had no right to be happy to see her. After the incident right before the full moon she shouldn't be smiling at him like that, she should be upset with him. He was nearly twenty years older than her, she was only sixteen, seventeen in a few weeks but that didn't make him feel any better about the situation._

 _He never should have kissed her. It was irresponsible, dishonorable,_ depraved _even. She was practically a child and he was... well he was a monster. Too old, too poor, too dangerous. She was too good for him. Too young, too beautiful, too pure. He would destroy her, if she let him, and after the way she'd kissed him back he had no doubt that she would let him. So he was avoiding her, and his wolf was none too happy with him about it._

 _Remus had been horrified, the first time he'd ever met her, to know that his mate was a child nineteen years his junior, and his_ student _. Thirteen, at the time, and he was irrevocably infatuated with her. He'd wanted to quit on the spot, wanted to run as far away from Hogwarts and_ her _as possible, but Dumbledore had convinced him to stay._

"How can you protect her if you aren't here, Remus?" he'd asked, his eyes twinkling. "How can you protect Harry? They need you, they're constantly dragging each other into dangerous situations."

 _He'd been so careful, making sure she was hardly ever alone with him, though the pull he felt to be near her, to protect her, made that difficult. It wasn't sexual, or at least it hadn't been until that kiss, but now that he knew what she tasted like, knew how her lips felt against his- He had to stay away from her._

 _Remus successfully managed to evade her constant attempts to talk to him for most of the day. If it was up to him he wouldn't be there at all but, between Dumbledore's insisting they host the Order meeting at the Burrow that night and Molly's never ending nagging that he join them for dinner, he didn't have a choice. He would have made it out without having to speak to her, had he timed his escape a little better._

 _He'd waited until she excused herself from the table, claiming that she needed the loo, before he stood and thanked Molly for the meal, claiming fatigue and bidding everyone goodnight. The second he stepped outside he knew that she'd tricked him, he could smell her lemongrass and mint scent as she stepped out of the shadow of the house to stand directly in front of him, arms crossed, eyes narrowed angrily as she studied him._

" _Hermione-" he began hesitantly, stopping abruptly when she raised a single brow at him in warning._

" _If you apologize to me again Remus I'm going to slap you," she hissed. "You're behaving like a child and I've had enough of it. It was a kiss, it was a full moon day and your wolf was on edge, it didn't mean anything." Remus felt his heart slam painfully against his ribcage at her words._ It didn't mean anything. _He wished that he could tell her exactly how much it_ did _mean. "I expect you to be an adult about this, because honestly Remus I don't want you to avoid me. I don't want you to feel guilty because you lost control of yourself for a moment, when nothing even really happened. I-" she bit her lip and he cursed himself when he saw that her eyes were filled with tears. "I thought that we were friends now, I_ liked _being your friend-"_

" _Of course we're friends," he whispered. "I just don't want you to think-"_

" _You honestly think one kiss is going to make me fall madly in love with you and expect some sort of fairytale ending?" she asked, shaking her head and laughing._ I can hope _, he thought bitterly. "I'm not a child anymore Remus, and I'm not the sort of girl to lend herself to ridiculous romantic notions. It was a kiss, you didn't mean it, get over it already."_

 _Remus had to look away from her, terrified that she would see the truth in his eyes, that even though_ she _could brush it off as an accident_ he _had meant it. He could never get over it, could never get over her._

" _You're right," he lied. "Of course, you're always right." She was wrong, she would never know how wrong, he would never tell her. Part of him was almost glad that she wasn't interested in him, that she was brushing it all off and blaming the moon, but there was a larger part of him that was disappointed. If she pushed him for more he wouldn't be able to stop himself from giving it to her and he couldn't decide if that terrified or thrilled him._

" _So we're good?" Hermione asked, smiling. Remus nodded._

" _Yeah, we're good," he agreed, although his wolf desperately wanted to argue that they would never be good unless they were together._

" _I should go back inside," she told him, walking back towards the door. Remus fought down his desire to grab her and kiss her stupid. "Write to me this year Remus," she said. It wasn't a question, she wasn't asking him, so he couldn't tell her no._

" _Of course," he agreed. He spun on the spot and disapparated, before he could do something he would regret._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 4, 1981**_

Hermione woke to someone lying pressed against her back, one of their hands lightly rubbing circles on her stomach while the other one toyed absently with her hair. She stiffened automatically, her body instantly on high alert as she inhaled an unfamiliar feminine scent.

"It's Lily," a soft voice whispered in her ear. Hermione relaxed and took a deep breath, committing the smell of cucumber and honeysuckle to memory. It was odd, she thought, how smell had become so prominent to her since she'd gotten pregnant, and how it had been exacerbated further by her newly developed canine senses from Greyback's attack.

"What time is it?" Hermione asked, her eyes sweeping the dark room in confusion.

"A little after midnight," Lily answered. "You were having a nightmare, Harry said that you sleep better when someone is holding you so I climbed into the bed since the boys aren't here to hold you in their laps the way they've been doing." Hermione felt her lips twitch up at the thought that Harry had shared that information with the others, it was so like him to notice something like that, and the fact that he found it important enough to mention… well it was just so _Harry._ "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Hermione assured her. "Midnight was my watch, I always wake up around this time." Lily tensed.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Hermione sighed. She couldn't give Lily a full explanation, she didn't want to have to repeat the story later, but she knew that she had to give her something.

"We were running from the ministry, Harry, Ron, and I, we lived in a tent together for months, moving every few days so no one could find us," she explained. "Harry would keep watch from eight to midnight, and then I would watch from midnight to four, and then Ron would watch from four to eight."

"Oh," Lily murmured. "I should probably save my questions for when the others are here," she mused. Hermione let out a humorless chuckle.

"Probably," she agreed. There was a long silence before Hermione spoke again. "He used to do this, Harry I mean. He used to lay with me like this and rub my stomach and play with my hair." It was difficult to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "The first time I woke up and he was... how was he here?" she asked.

"You said his name in your sleep and touched your bracelet," Lily told her. Hermione felt her fingers drift to the cuff around her wrist and she frowned. "I thought I was seeing things at first, and then he spoke to us and I- It was the single most surreal moment of my life." Hermione nodded, thinking back to a toddler Harry plopping himself down in her lap.

"I'm never going to get him back," she murmured tearfully. Lily's hand stilled on her stomach as Hermione let out a soft sob. "Please don't stop," she begged, craving the gentle touch more than she would have thought possible.

"If you could go back and change things again, would you?" Lily asked, resuming the gentle motions. "Would you let James and I die, if it meant that you could have your Harry?" Hermione thought about it for a moment before she shook her head.

"No. My Harry was dead. Ron and Sirius and Remus, they were all gone. I was the only one left and if I hadn't been sent back I would have died." Her voice cracked. "His life will be better this time around, he'll be happy. That's all I ever wanted for him."

"You really love him," Lily observed.

"I would die for him," Hermione whispered. "Just like he would have died for me. He was everything."

"Well, not everything," Lily said, patting Hermione's bump meaningfully. Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. That wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with anyone, ever.

"It was a mistake," she muttered. "The entire relationship, it never should have happened."

"Do you really believe that?" Lily asked. Hermione considered her answer carefully, more than aware of the intensity Lily had put behind the question. For whatever reason Lily really cared about her answer, so Hermione made sure to word it precisely.

"I don't know," she admitted. "There are days that I hate him, that I want to curse his name. And there are days that I miss him so much I want to die. We made such a mess of things, I honestly can't be sure if it was a mistake or the best decision I ever made."

They slipped back into silence and Hermione felt relieved that Lily didn't try to push the subject further. She didn't know what she was going to do if someone tried to force that conversation with her, she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't even want to think about it, but she knew that eventually someone was bound to ask her who he was.

"Hermione?" Lily asked. Hermione, who had been very close to falling back to sleep jumped a little at the sudden sound of her voice.

"Yeah?"

"Did Harry really stick his wand up a troll's nose?" Hermione snorted with laughter at the question.

"He did," she confirmed. "He really did." She could feel Lily shaking with silent laughter.

"Just like his father," she muttered. Hermione smiled.

..oo0O0oo..

"Do you think her baby is going to be a girl or a boy?" Sirius asked as he applied a layer of soft yellow paint to the wall of the room they were preparing for Hermione.

"Girl," Remus answered automatically. "I overheard Madam Pomfrey talking to Lily about it." Sirius stopped painting and stared at the wall thoughtfully.

"Maybe we should have gotten pink paint instead, or maybe purple," he mused. "Why did we decide on yellow? It'll be all our fault if the kid ends up in Hufflepuff now." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Hermione doesn't strike me as a pink kind of girl," he pointed out. "And I highly doubt that having a yellow room is going to turn the cub into a puff, especially since this is more than likely temporary."

"Why would it be temporary?" Sirius asked. Remus sighed and concentrated harder than he really needed to on the section of wall he was painting.

"She's my mate Sirius, is it unreasonable to hope that someday she might be living with me instead of you?" he asked. He turned to look his best friend in the eyes. Sirius gaped at him, seemingly unable to formulate a response.

"Hey guys, I managed to find everything on the list-" James stopped talking abruptly as he stepped into the room to see Remus and Sirius staring intently at one another. "What did I miss?"

"Remus and I were debating whether having yellow walls would turn the baby into a Hufflepuff or not," Sirius stated slowly. "And then Remus dropped the 'Hermione is my mate and even though I've always said that I would never subject anyone to having to be in a relationship with a werewolf I'm hoping that we can be together someday' bomb." James' eyes widened as he turned to stare at Remus.

"Really?" he asked incredulously. "Remus mate, that's brilliant! How can we help? Do you need me to talk you up to her?" Remus grimaced at the thought of the damage James and Sirius could do and shook his head. They meant well, but the art of subtlety was lost on James, who had loudly announced in front of the entire school several times that he would marry Lily Evans if it killed him, and Sirius was... Sirius. He had to be careful with Hermione, she wasn't just any girl.

"Not yet," Remus said. "I want her to get settled here first. She's got a lot to deal with right now, let's focus on finishing the room and making her feel at home." He went back to painting, hoping that his friends would let the conversation drop.

"Remus..." James began hesitantly. "Are you- You're great with Harry, and I have no doubt that you would make an excellent father but you do realize that Hermione..."

"Comes with a child?" Remus asked, turning to raise an eyebrow at him. "I noticed. I'm prepared to be whatever Hermione wants me to be for her daughter, be it a father or just a cool uncle figure. I'll all in Prongs, this isn't something I'm taking lightly." James nodded, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I know that," he murmured. "I had to make sure though, because it's not... it's not going to be easy." Remus sighed and shook away his annoyance. He was glad that James cared enough to ask questions like that, even if they were vaguely insulting.

"You said you got everything on the list?" he asked, changing the subject. James nodded.

"You wouldn't believe how much stuff Lily saved from when Harry was a newborn, I had most of the stuff on the list already in my house," James admitted. "But we'll have to go shopping for new baby clothes because I'm not making the poor girl walk around in shirts declaring her 'mummy's little man'."

"I highly doubt she'll be walking Prongs," Sirius joked. Remus and James rolled their eyes at him. "Where did you find a cot at this time of night?" he asked. James grinned.

"We had an extra one," he told them. "Lily's sister bought us one when we found out Lily was pregnant, we didn't want to tell her that we already had one so we kept it." Sirius made a face at that.

"You're telling me _Petunia_ bought you two a cot?" he asked. James nodded.

"Lily was surprised too, I guess her sister doesn't hate her as much as we thought she did." He shrugged as he picked up a paintbrush. "Anyway, all Hermione is going to need now are clothes for her and the baby."

"She has her own clothes I thought," Sirius said, "in that purple bag, the one with the extension charm." James shook his head.

"Lily went through it, most of the clothes in there are boys' and what does belong to Hermione is all threadbare and too small anyway because they'll never fit over her bump," he explained.

"What else is in there?" Sirius asked. Remus held his breath, waiting for James' answer, wondering if there was anything in the little bag that might tell him who the baby's father was.

"Lily made sure that she only looked at the clothes, she didn't want to violate Hermione's privacy," James answered. "I will tell you one thing though, she collects Quidditch jerseys. There must have been at least a dozen in that bag, she even had one of your old ones from school Pads. A few of them looked like they were custom made, I think half of them had 'WEASLEY' printed on them, and they all had different numbers. There's a brand new one with 'LUPIN' on it, even though Remus never played on the team."

"We'll have to ask her about that," Sirius said grinning, obviously thinking about what he was going to say to tease her about it. Remus couldn't seem to move past the thought of Hermione wearing a jersey with his name on it, he liked the idea a little too much and if he was being honest it riled his wolf that she'd been wearing Harry's jersey instead of his when he'd last seen her.

"Lily told me that I should give her one of mine, round out her collection," James laughed and Remus growled at him. "It obviously doesn't mean anything Remus." James rolled his eyes and Remus felt his face start to grow hot.

"Sorry James, I know it doesn't mean anything, it's just-"

"Remus shut up, I understand, honestly," James said, shaking his head in exasperation. "You're going to have to control that in front of her you know, she doesn't strike me as the type of witch to put up with possessive behavior."

Remus sighed and set his paint roller down, having finally finished the wall he'd been working on. "I know," he muttered sullenly. "Merlin I hope this gets easier." James snorted but didn't comment.

"Let's put the cot together Remus," Sirius suggested, setting aside his own paint roller. "I'm sick of painting."

"I don't know why you two didn't just charm the walls a different color," James laughed. Remus and Sirius looked at each other sheepishly.

"I didn't even think of that," Remus admitted.

"Me either," Sirius groaned. James laughed so hard he couldn't breathe.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello lovelies! *sigh* Maybe someday I will learn some self control and stop posting early. Maybe. I highly doubt it but it could happen.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter, I'm so happy that you are all enjoying the story so far. I know that I don't reply like I should because I'm horrible but I read and adore each one!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 6**_

 _ **December 28, 1996**_

 _Hermione walked through the entrance to Diagon Alley and headed directly for Fred and George's shop. She knew she wasn't supposed to be there, that it was dangerous for her to go anywhere in the wizarding world without an escort, but there were things she needed and they couldn't wait because she wasn't sure she'd ever have the opportunity again._

 _Something big was about to happen. She didn't know what it was but Hermione was sure that the entire world was on the precipice of a catastrophic event that would alter their lives forever and she was determined to be prepared for anything. So she was sneaking away from her parents for an afternoon with the intention of gathering supplies for just about any situation._

 _She opened the door and slipped into_ Weasley's Wizard Wheezes _, being careful not to be spotted by either of the twins for as long as she could. Carefully she gathered her desired items,_ Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, _some_ Decoy Detonators, _quite a few_ Extendable Ears, _and three full_ Jinx Off _kits. She debated for a moment on the benefits of buying a few_ Patented Daydream Charms _before grabbing a dozen of them and adding them to her pile and approaching the register._

 _Hermione was a bit disappointed to see that George was working the counter instead of Verity, she wasn't sure if he would lecture her about her safety or not but had hoped to avoid him just in case. The moment he looked up and realized who she was she realized that he was not very happy to see her._

" _Hermione what are you doing here?" he asked, frowning. "Who came with you? I thought you were with your parents."_

" _I just came in to get some things I needed," she replied sheepishly. He looked down at the things she'd placed on the counter and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "I didn't think I really needed an escort just to come to the shop. I'm going straight home after this." He looked up to glare at her._

" _Hermione it's too dangerous for you to be wandering around without someone to protect you," he hissed. "And what on earth are you planning to use this stuff for?" Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, giving him her best prefect glare._

" _You can lecture me later, can you please just ring this stuff up for me?" she asked, feeling an embarrassed flush creep up her neck when the gentleman behind her began making impatient noises._

" _I'll ring this up and then I'm going to pull Verity to the front and you're coming upstairs to the flat with me and Fred and we're going to have a little talk about recklessness." He quickly sorted through her items and bagged them before giving her the total, Hermione paid him and he immediately called for Verity. "Verity, Fred and I are going to take a quick break, watch the till for me," he ordered, grabbing Hermione by the arm and pulling her to the back of the shop._

 _George opened the door to the storeroom and poked his head in, informing Fred that he was wanted upstairs immediately before dragging Hermione up the stairs to the twin's flat. It didn't take long for Fred to come up the stairs and the moment his eyes landed on her she knew that the situation from when they were in Hogwarts was about to become reversed and she was going to get the dressing down of a lifetime._

" _Who came here with her?" Fred asked tightly. George glared at her._

" _She came alone, figured she didn't need anyone for a 'quick trip to the shop'," he answered. Fred's eyes widened._

" _Hermione you can't do things like that!" he scolded her before groaning loudly. "Merlin, I sound like mum."_

" _Doesn't feel right when we're the responsible ones," George muttered. "Listen, we're all for being reckless and breaking the rules Hermione but not when the rules are there to keep you alive."_

" _You're a muggle-born, and Harry's best friend," Fred reminded her. "That makes you a target."_

" _People are disappearing every day, muggles and muggle-borns especially. We really hate to be the voice of reason but you can't just walk around Diagon Alley by yourself, it isn't safe." George sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry but we're going to have to let someone in the Order know that you're here, and you're going to have to stay here until someone can come get you and bring you home."_

" _I can take care of myself!" Hermione protested. The twins glared at her._

" _We know that, we also know that if anyone in the Order finds out you were here and we didn't tell them then we'll be in trouble," Fred said, his tone placating._

" _I'll go floo Lupin," George decided, walking towards the floo._

 _Hermione felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach. She was sure that she could get away with just about anything with any other member of the Order if she acted innocent and like she just hadn't wanted to bother anybody, but Remus would see right through that in a heartbeat. She was in a lot more trouble than she had originally thought, she never would have imagined that Fred and George would insist on being responsible the moment she'd been relying on them not to be._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 4, 1981**_

When they arrived in the hospital wing that afternoon Hermione was awake, sitting up in her bed wearing a Gryffindor Quidditch jersey with 'BLACK' written on it. Remus growled low in his throat at the sight of it but was quick to stuff down his jealousy when Hermione gave him a questioning look. He smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged his shoulders, hoping she would let it go, but he knew he'd hear about it later when she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Hello kitten," Sirius greeted her, winking and flashing her his best smile. "Nice shirt." Remus was pleased to see Hermione scoff and roll her eyes at him, obviously used to his flirtatious attitude.

"Hello Sirius," she responded. "James, Remus, good to see you." She nodded to both of them, but her eyes ghosted over Remus, barely looking at him before turning back to James. The werewolf tried not to let her quiet dismissal of him bother him much, but her unspoken rejection stung a bit.

"We've got a surprise for you kitten," Sirius told her in his usual flirtatious, teasing tone. Hermione cocked an eyebrow at him. "We painted you a room in my flat, got you a cot and a changing table for the little one, you're going to move in as soon as Madam Pomfrey gives you the all clear." They watched as Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, her mouth dropping open slightly to form a perfect little 'o'.

"I- You- Fuck, you don't have to-" James chuckled and shook his head, cutting off whatever she had been about to say.

"We do have to, we _want_ to," he told her seriously. "Hermione, you need a place to live; did you honestly think that we were going to make you figure it all out on your own? You saved us, all of us. Lily and I were supposed to _die_ , Sirius was going to rot in Azkaban, Remus was going to be all alone."

"You're stuck with us now," Lily said happily. "You might as well just accept it." James sat down on the edge of Hermione's bed and placed a careful hand on her arm.

"You saved my family, more than once if anything Ghost Harry said was true," James explained. There was a brief spasm of pain in her eyes at the mention of Harry and Remus wasn't surprised when a few tears trickled down her face before she schooled her expression and put her emotions on lockdown. "You're family now, and we take care of our family. We can't replace Harry, or any of the others that you clearly loved very much, but we can try our best to make sure you're happy here."

Hermione stared at James for a long moment, a complex variety of emotions making themselves evident in her eyes. "You're not going to give me a choice are you?" she asked. James shook his head.

"Like Lily said, you might as well just accept it," he confirmed. Hermione sighed and gave James a small, fond smile.

"I suppose if you went through the trouble of painting I can't really tell you no," she sighed. Sirius grinned triumphantly.

"So that's a yes then?" he pressed. Hermione rolled her eyes at him and nodded.

"Yes, you prat," she answered. "But only until I can make it on my own, I refuse to take advantage of your hospitality. I have so much to do, I still can't believe that I've spent the past few days lazing about." Remus chuckled and shook his head.

"You went through a traumatic experience, I think you're entitled to a few days of rest," he told her, smiling when her eyes lifted to meet his. She sighed and wrinkled her nose in a fashion that was, for lack of a better word, _adorable_.

"Well," she mused, "if _you_ say so then it must be true." Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she smiled at him briefly. It seemed to be and unconscious comment, something she would have said to the Remus she'd know in the future, because she seemed to have realized who she was talking to and her smile faded a bit as she, once again, looked away from him. He wondered why she couldn't seem to look at him for more than a few seconds at a time.

He opened his mouth to say something, to ask her if she was feeling better – though she obviously was as she wasn't screaming in her sleep at that moment – when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted him. He watched, intrigued, as Hermione's eyes flitted to the doorway and for a moment she was alight with rage and hatred so intense he didn't know how she could contain it without setting the world around her on fire, before she suppressed it and arranged her face into an emotionless mask.

"It's good to see you awake, Miss Granger," a familiar voice said from the doorway. Remus' eyes widened in shock as he turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway. What on earth could the old man have done to make her hate him so much?

..oo0O0oo..

Getting a hold of her temper wasn't easy, there was nothing she wanted to do more than hex Dumbledore into the next century, but she knew that she was going to need his help and for that reason she packed all of her negative feelings away and attempted to put on a pleasant face.

"Headmaster," Hermione greeted him coolly. Dumbledore frowned and she could see James and Lily exchange curious glances. Remus was watching her closely, _again_ , and Sirius just looked confused. She was glad that Harry was with McGonagall again, the woman went out of her way to kidnap him whenever she could, and Hermione wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her temper if Dumbledore was in the same room as Harry.

"You're feeling better, I trust?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes sweeping over her. Hermione nodded.

"Much," she confirmed. "The potions provided to me by Madame Pomfrey have helped immensely."

"Good, that's good. Do you think that you might be up to answering a few questions?" he inquired. Hermione felt her entire body tense in anticipation.

"What kind of questions?" she asked, eyeing him warily. She really didn't feel up to playing his mind games, she was tired and his presence made her anxious. She just wanted him to take his ridiculous manipulations and go away.

"Mostly how you came to travel back to us," he explained. "We did not find a time turner on your person so I assume that your trip was unintentional."

She didn't miss the way his eyes traveled curiously to her bump, no doubt wondering if she knew how dangerous time travel was for a fetus.

"I think that story could be saved for another time," she decided. "I'd like to avoid repeating myself and I'll need to speak to a representative from the centaur herd, preferably Bane, if he'll agree to speak with me."

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "The centaurs?" he asked incredulously. Hermione felt a surge of pride that she'd managed to surprise the old man.

"Yes, I have some questions for them," she said, being purposefully vague. "Also, you should check on the Longbottom family sir, put some extra protection in place for them. In my time Bellatrix Lestrange, her husband Rodolphus, brother in law Rabastan, and Barty Crouch Jr. had tortured them into madness and they spent the rest of their lives in St. Mungos." She frowned, her thoughts straying to Neville. She could change his life so much, give him his parents back. How much better would his life be? How much happier would he be if he had more of his parents than two empty shells and a collection of gum wrappers?

She thought of the little boy she'd met on the Hogwarts Express, eleven years old and frightened of the world around him, searching for his lost familiar. Would he still be terrified that he'd end up in Hufflepuff and disappoint his grandmother? Would he be more confident in his ability to be a decent wizard without the shadow of his parents' legacy looming over him?

She was afraid of the power she held in her hands at that moment. Terrified that she could do so much good and yet she could also do so much harm. What if she made things worse? What if, by trying to save the world, she brought a worse fate to all of them?

"Hermione?" Remus' voice cut through her thoughts and she looked over at him in confusion. He was standing at her bedside, his lips pulled down into a concerned frown, one hand outstretched like he desperately wanted to touch her but wasn't sure if he was allowed.

"Are you alright Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked her. She frowned at the question.

"You're crying, kitten," Sirius explained, obviously sensing her confusion. She reached up a hand to touch her face, surprised to find that she was, indeed, crying.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling embarrassed. "I feel ridiculous, crying all the bloody time like a child. I just-" she closed her eyes and reached up to cover her face.

"Take your time," Dumbledore murmured. "I have no doubt that you must be feeling terribly overwhelmed, your knowledge of the future is a great and terrifying responsibility."

Hermione laughed and looked up to meet his eyes. "I can't do this today," she said, her tone unapologetic. "There are other things that need to be taken care of first, more important things. I need a cover story, a new identity. I need to take my N.E.W.T.s. I have to get a job, I need to-" Suddenly there was a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and she was being rocked back and forth while she sobbed into Remus' shoulder. She knew it was him, she could smell the familiar scent of books and chocolate and... _Remus_. She'd missed him. Missed his silent strength, and the way that she felt safe whenever he was near.

"This conversation is over," he growled. "She's tired, she needs to rest. This much stress isn't good for the baby."

"Of course, it appears that I have a few things that I need to do," Dumbledore agreed. "I will take care of the Longbottoms and speak with the centaurs immediately. I apologize for upsetting you, Miss Granger, that was not my intention." He swept out of the room and Hermione let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"You don't trust him," Remus observed. She looked up to meet his eyes.

"He can't be trusted," she said simply. She thought that he might argue with her, she knew that he felt a great deal of gratitude and loyalty towards the old man, but he just looked at her for a moment before nodding.

"Okay then," he said, holding her even more tightly when she tried to pull away.

..oo0O0oo..

"We need to talk," James announced later that night, long after both Hermione and Lily had fallen asleep. Remus looked over at his dark haired friend from his seat in the chair next to Hermione's bed. It was rare for the man to look so serious, but his eyes were hard and angry in a way that Remus had never seen before and it made him nervous.

"About?" Sirius asked, looking just as curious as Remus felt.

"Pettigrew," James sneered. Remus growled. They'd been avoiding talking about their friend's betrayal, and Remus wasn't sure he was ready to talk about it yet. He still couldn't believe that Peter had turned his back on them.

"We need to find him," Sirius began immediately but James shook his head and held up a hand.

"No, you need to listen to me first," James objected. "You rushed into things the first time and you got landed in Azkaban, we can't do that, there's too much at stake here." Remus saw the way that his eyes flickered first to Lily and Harry, curled up together on one of the beds, and then to Hermione. "We need to come up with a plan."

"How? We don't even know where Pettigrew is hiding," Sirius pointed out. "Before this I would have thought we knew him well enough to lure him into a trap but... I'm starting to wonder if we ever knew him at all."

Remus felt a tug on his heart at the thought. Had they known him? He desperately wanted to believe that the person they had known since they were eleven hadn't managed to fool them so thoroughly, that at one point their friendship had been genuine, but something inside him knew that it hadn't been. Pettigrew had been drawn to power, to people who could protect him, he had _used_ them.

"I know where he hid last time," Hermione mumbled, startling all three of them. "I'm not sure if he'll be there this time but it won't hurt to check. Shut up and let me think on it for a few days, you'll get your revenge and Pettigrew will go to Azkaban but don't rush into anything."

"How long have you been awake?" Sirius demanded.

"A while," she answered sleepily. "I can't get comfortable because my kid is doing gymnastics and keeps kicking me in the ribs."

Remus grimaced, his wolf growing restless at the idea that she was uncomfortable. "Can we do anything to help?" he asked hesitantly.

"No, it's fine," she murmured, setting off his inner Hermione lie detector. _Lie, lie, lie_ , Moony chanted.

"Are you sure?" he pressed. "Hermione if you need something just tell us, we want to help you."

"I don't-" she sighed. "I can't ask-"

"Spit it out Granger," James said, amusement coloring his tone.

"Can one of you please hold me?" she whispered so quietly that if it wasn't for his heightened senses Remus wouldn't have heard her at all. She sounded embarrassed and he had a feeling that she felt as though her inability to sleep alone was a weakness.

He stood up from his chair and crawled into the bed next to her, barely managing to contain his contented sigh when she relaxed into him, pressing her entire back to his front. He wrapped an arm around her, his hand resting for a moment on the firm roundness of her bump and he just about jumped out of his skin when he felt a tiny nudge.

"Chill out Remus, she's just saying hello," Hermione giggled. The bump nudged him again and he felt a surge of warmth flood his chest. It was such a little thing, the barest flicker of movement, but he could _feel_ it, proof of the life that she was creating and it amazed him. He was so in awe of her in that moment, she was incredible and he could never hope to deserve her.

"That's amazing," he breathed. Hermione sighed.

"Yeah," she agreed, "it really is."


	7. Chapter 7

**My loves! So I'm not sure yet when the next update will be but I'm warning you now that it will probably be a little longer than two weeks this time. I'm hoping that the worst of my writer's block has gone away and I'll be able to post on time but I'm not sure. And I'm just going to add a small note here to let you all know that if you head over to my profile there is a poll where you can vote to pick the name of Hermione's baby!**

 **Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter! I just want to remind you all that if you have any questions you can feel free to contact me via pm, or you can find me on tumblr under the same username, or if you are part of Shrieking Shack Society or Wordsmiths and Betas you're always welcome to send me a message on Facebook!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader Heeley. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 7**_

 _ **December 28, 1996**_

 _Remus was there in less than five minutes, standing in the doorway of the twins' kitchen and giving her his best disappointed stare. Hermione hated that look, she hated that she was the one to put that expression on his face. People were_ never _disappointed in her, it just wasn't done. She was Hermione Granger and she did not disappoint people._

" _Thank you, Fred, George, for letting me know she was here," he said, his eyes never leaving her face. She resisted the urge to shy away from his gaze. "I think we should go now, Hermione take my arm please, we'll be apparating."_

 _She looked helplessly at Fred and George, a small part of her wishing they would offer to take her home instead. When they said nothing she sighed and stepped forward to take Remus' arm._

 _There was a familiar pull and then she was standing, not in her childhood home like she'd been expecting, but in the front entryway of Grimmauld Place. She glanced around in surprise for a moment, watching as Remus flicked a silencing charm at Walburga Black's portrait before he turned his furious eyes on her._

" _Remus why are we here?" she demanded. "Honestly this is ridiculous-"_

" _Ridiculous?" he hissed. "What's ridiculous is you running around Diagon fucking Alley on your own! What the hell were you thinking Hermione? And don't think for a moment that I'm going to believe that you just didn't want to bother anyone, that's a bullshit excuse and you know it!" By the time he finished shouting at her he had backed her up against the nearest wall and his face, which was flushed red in anger, was inches away from her own._

" _I don't know why you're so upset," Hermione confessed. "I was perfectly fine, I don't need a babysitter."_

" _You don't see why I'm so upset?" he asked, staring at her incredulously. "You cannot possibly be that stupid, not you. You know exactly why I'm upset, Hermione!"_

" _No, actually, I don't!" she yelled back. "I'm not some incapable damsel in distress Remus! I'm seventeen, not five, I can take care of myself!"_

" _I know that!" he yelled. "I'm not saying that you couldn't handle yourself against a Death Eater, you can, but what happens when you're up against more than one with no back up? What you did today was reckless and irresponsible!"_

" _I don't have to listen to this," Hermione decided, making an attempt to duck around him so that she could apparate home. He stopped her by planting his hands on the wall on either side of her head, boxing her in. The way he looked at her in that moment, his eyes flashing lupine gold and burning bright with intensity, had a tight coil of desire forming deep inside her._

" _What would I do if something happened to you?" he whispered. "If someone kidnapped you or hurt you or... You could have been killed."_

 _Hermione frowned at him in confusion. "I don't understand," she whispered. "Remus why-" She stopped talking abruptly when Remus removed one hand from the wall to cup her face._

" _Because you're everything," he breathed before leaning down to kiss her._

 _The Weasley Wizard Wheezes bag slipped out of her hand as she raised her arms to wrap them around Remus' neck. The hand that had been cupping her face slid back to tangle in her hair while his other hand left the wall and his arm wrapped around her, pulling her firmly against him._

 _She groaned and opened her mouth to his probing tongue, barely managing to stop herself from rubbing her body against his like a cat in heat. Everywhere his body touched hers felt as if it had been set on fire and it was simultaneously too much and not enough._

"Remus _," she moaned when he tore his lips from hers to trail a line of kisses across her jaw and down her neck._

" _I shouldn't be doing this," he rasped, nipping at the junction where her neck met her shoulder. "I shouldn't be doing this Hermione, but I can't stop. Tell me to stop," he begged._

" _I can't," Hermione whispered. "I don't want you to stop Remus."_

" _I'm too old for you," he argued. "Too old, too poor, a werewolf, you don't want this." But even as he spoke he pressed closer to her, pushing her back against the wall as he ground his hard cock against her thigh, making her whimper with need._

" _I don't care. Don't try to tell me what I want. I want this, I want you," she gasped, tugging his lips back down onto hers. She poured everything she had into the kiss, every bit of frustration and longing she'd ever felt for him._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 5, 1981**_

Remus woke up feeling rather confused. He had fallen asleep wrapped around Hermione, surrounded by her scent and the easy rhythm of her breathing. So when he woke up to find that his arms were empty he wasn't exactly happy about it.

He sat up in the bed, surprised to see that he was the only one in the room, Lily and Harry's bed was empty, the seats where James and Sirius had slept were unoccupied and Hermione was gone. Remus felt a surge of panic, his heart speeding up considerably as he ran through a mental list of all the horrible things that might have happened to his friends and his mate while he'd been asleep.

It took him a few moments to calm down, to remind himself that they were in Hogwarts and Hogwarts was safe and that if anything happened to Hermione he would know. He would know the same way that he knew what she was to him and what it meant. Moony. Moony was connected to her, she was a part of him and while he was restless that she was not where he could see her, he wasn't distraught and that meant that wherever she was she was unharmed.

Thankfully Sirius and James chose that moment to walk into the room, laughing and levitating a try laden with food from the Great Hall – why they hadn't just asked the elves to bring them something Remus didn't know.

"Are you pouting?" Sirius asked when he looked over to where Remus was still sitting up in Hermione's bed.

"I'm not pouting," Remus denied, his petulant tone violently contradicting him. He was pouting, just a little. Sirius snorted.

"Aw Prongs, Moony is pouting 'cause he woke up without his witch," Sirius teased. James rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a prat Sirius," he scolded. "You alright Remus? Hermione's gone to take a shower, Madame Pomfrey said she can go home today."

Remus felt the tension drain out of him, and he smiled softly at the idea that Hermione would be getting out of the hospital wing. Being back at Hogwarts was nice, and Remus had missed it, but he'd seen a lot of the hospital wing during his time as a student and he had hoped he'd never have to see it again.

"Did you bring me any breakfast?" Remus asked, hopefully eyeing a plate heaped full of bacon hopefully. James curled a defensive hand around the plate and narrowed his eyes.

"You were asleep, so no, we didn't get you any, get your own," he responded shortly.

"I don't know why you didn't just ask the house elves to get it for you," Remus commented.

"We tried, Hermione had a fit," James explained. "Remember what Ghost Harry said about never getting into a conversation with her about house elf rights?" he asked. Remus nodded.

"He wasn't kidding," Sirius said, knicking a piece of bacon off of James' plate. "It was easier to walk to the Great Hall and get our own food than to argue with her. I'm surprised she didn't wake you up to be honest, she gets loud when she's upset."

"She does," James agreed around a mouthful of eggs.

"Are you talking about me?"

All three of them jumped at the sound of Hermione's voice coming from the doorway. It was remarkable that she'd managed to surprise them, sneaking up on a werewolf and a canine animagus wasn't an easy thing to do.

"No!" they chorused, none of them managing to sound convincing as they turned to look at her. Remus felt his breath catch at the sight of her, something that happened every time he saw her, but that always seemed to surprise him. He would never get over how beautiful she was.

Her bandages had been removed, the cursed wounds having healed enough that they no longer bled. They suited her, in an odd sort of way, the three pale pink scars ran from hairline to chin and she wore them like a badge of honor. A testament to her strength. Her hair, which was usually a wild mass of frizzy curls, had been wrestled back into a braid, and Remus wondered if she wore it that way for practicality or because she was embarrassed by the way it practically defied gravity.

Hermione rolled her eyes at them as she walked across the room to stand at the foot of her bed. "You're just like Harry you know," she murmured giving James a casual look, "or maybe he's just like you. Either way you're both horrible liars, and you two aren't much better," she added, glancing quickly at Sirius before letting her eyes settle on Remus. She gave him a small smile, and he shyly returned it, feeling elated that she was looking at him without glaring or looking away as quickly as she could.

"I knew there was a reason they wouldn't let me in Slytherin," James joked, shoving a handful of bacon in his mouth.

"The hat very nearly put Harry in Slytherin," Hermione told them, placing one hand on her stomach as she attempted to climb onto the bed. Remus was up and at her side in an instant, while James and Sirius both choked on their mouthfuls of food. He scooped her up and set her down as gently as possible, letting his hand linger for a moment on her stomach, smiling at the nudge he received for his efforts.

"You're the only one she does that for every time," she murmured, her brow furrowed slightly.

"I'm sorry, did you just try to tell me that _my_ son, Harry James Potter, almost got put in _Slytherin_?" James demanded. Hermione turned to look at him and Remus felt himself deflate at the loss of her attention.

"Yes James, that is what I said," Hermione agreed. "I'm pleased to inform you that you do not yet need a hearing aid."

"My son? Are you sure it was my son? Harry, little Harry Potter, the one who kissed your boo-boos to make them better? That Harry?" James pressed. Hermione's smile grew wider.

"Yes, that Harry," she confirmed. James and Sirius frowned at one another.

"Well that won't do at all," Sirius muttered. "We're going to have to have a talk with the little tyke."

Remus watched in fond amusement as Hermione rolled her eyes. "Get over it," she told them sternly, "he was sorted into Gryffindor in the end. There's no need to have a crisis."

"Says the magic eight ball," Sirius grumbled sullenly. Hermione glared at him, a small dimple forming between her eyes as she frowned. Remus hated himself for the way he found it so utterly adorable.

"I'm not a magic eight ball, although I'm impressed you even know what that is," she said slowly, looking him over in a way that set Moony on edge. He didn't much care for her being impressed by another male.

"So James and Sirius tell me you're being sent home today," Remus said, both trying to change the subject and shift her attention back to him. _Where it belongs_ , Moony thought. Remus did his best to ignore him, though he couldn't help but agree.

"Uh, yeah," she said, looking over at him. "Dumbledore wants to talk to me first though." She grimaced and Remus frowned at her obvious discomfort.

"Why don't you like Dumbledore?" Sirius asked, having noticed her change of expression. Hermione looked around uneasily, her eyes lingering for a moment on the open door of Madam Pomfrey's office.

"We can't talk about this here," she told him. "You never know who might be listening."

James and Sirius exchanged a curious look. "There's no one in here but us Hermione," James assured her. She shook her head.

"Later, I'll tell you everything later, but not here," she said firmly. "There's something else far more important that we need to talk about, there's something in the castle that we need to find before we leave." She reached over and grabbed her beaded bag. "Dumbledore is out of the castle until later this afternoon, so if we hurry we'll have enough time to get the object and destroy it." As she spoke she pulled two very familiar items out of the little bag and Remus couldn't help the wide smile that spread across his face at the sight of James' invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map.

"Where did you get those?" James demanded. Hermione smiled.

"Harry was my best friend," she said, shrugging, as if that explained everything. "He got the map from the Weasley twins in our third year – of course we didn't find out until later who the Marauders actually were – and Dumbledore gave the cloak to Harry for Christmas our first year. I thought that it had been lost with Harry when he died, but Draco must have put it in my bag before he helped me escape."

"Hermione, maybe we should wait until Dumbledore gets back," Remus suggested uneasily. He didn't feel comfortable with going behind the old man's back, even if Hermione didn't like him Dumbledore had done a lot for Remus.

"You can stay here if you're scared Remus, I won't judge," she murmured absently as she unfolded the map. He wasn't quite able to silence the growl that rose up in his chest at her words. She smirked. "James, did Dumbledore give you your cloak back?" she asked. "My plan won't work without both cloaks."

"Er, yeah he gave it to me yesterday," James admitted. "How did you-"

"Honestly James, let's just assume that I know a lot of things," Hermione said, rolling her eyes in frustration. "Do you have it with you?" James shook his head."Would you mind going to get it?" she asked. James nodded, eyeing her uneasily as he stood.

"I'll be back in a bit," he said, vanishing his empty plate and dirty silverware to the kitchens. Hermione gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you James," she called as he walked out of the room. "Now, do you two want to know that plan?"

..oo0O0oo..

"Tell me again why James and I are going to steal a chicken from Hagrid?" Sirius asked incredulously from under the cloak he was sharing with James. Hermione fought the intense desire she felt to hex him stupid. It was the seventh time he'd asked in less than ten minutes.

"Because I said so, and it's a rooster Sirius," she reminded him. "If you come back with a chicken I'll send you back until you can learn to follow directions."

"Does anyone else want to know why the designated meeting place is a girl's bathroom?" James asked.

"I'm more curious about the rooster honestly," Remus interjected. Hermione groaned.

"I have an idea, how about we all play a little game called Hermione Knows Best and stop asking stupid questions," Hermione snapped irritably. "Go get the rooster and meet Remus and me in the girl's bathroom on the second floor, please."

"Fine, but you _are_ going to tell us why we need a rooster, right?" Sirius asked hopefully. Hermione sighed.

"Yes Sirius, if you bring me the rooster I'll tell you why we need it," she agreed. "We'll see you soon, don't get caught." She reached down and took Remus by the hand, pulling him away before Sirius could think of another stupid question to ask. "Honestly, this is ridiculous, Harry and Ron never questioned me," she muttered sullenly.

"Harry and Ron knew you a lot longer than we have," Remus pointed out. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"The Room of Requirement," she replied absently, her mind still stuck on the marauders' lack of trust in her.

"The what?" Remus asked, frowning. Hermione turned to look at him, a delighted smile spreading across her face.

"You'll see," she assured him smugly, she loved that she knew something he didn't. It was an interesting power exchange, usually he was the one teaching her stuff.

They walked the rest of the way to the seventh floor in silence and Remus gave her a funny look when she started pacing back and forth. "What are you-" He stopped talking and gaped at the door that appeared out of nowhere. Hermione laughed.

"We don't have all day Remus," she reminded him gently. He shook his head and looked down at her, his eyes wide.

"How the hell did you find this place?" he demanded.

"A house elf told us about it during our fifth year," she explained, shrugging. "Come on, we have to find it and get back to James and Sirius." She walked into the room and Remus followed closely behind her.

"Of course, although it would be easier if you told me what we were looking for," Remus said, looking around in fascination at the large piles of old junk stacked around the room.

"I know where it is," Hermione explained.

"Then what was the point in bringing me?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Hermione laughed.

"You're tall, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to reach it," she admitted as she led him through the maze of objects in the room until they were standing in front of the cabinet where Harry had once hidden his old potions book. She looked around, knowing that it had to be directly in the vicinity because Harry had grabbed it and used it as a way to mark the cupboard so he could come back for that book.

"I thought you said you knew where it was," Remus teased. Hermione stuck her tongue out at him and pointed at the diadem, which she spotted in the pile just behind him.

"It's there," she said, watching in amusement as Remus spun around to see where she was pointing. His jaw dropped open and she knew that he recognized it for what it was.

"Is that... The Diadem of Ravenclaw? That's impossible, it's been lost for _centuries,_ " he spluttered. Hermione chuckled.

"It's not what it once was, I assure you," Hermione informed him. "It is an instrument of evil now, a vessel that holds a piece of Voldemort's soul." Remus reached up and grabbed the diadem and Hermione watched as his expression twisted into disgust. She grimaced, knowing exactly how it felt to touch something that evil, the way it made your skin crawl and your chest constrict painfully. "We should go, none of us should have contact with it for very long."

"Hermione, this is... this is _dark_ magic," Remus murmured. "You shouldn't even be in the same room as it, think of the baby."

"It has to be destroyed Remus," she sighed. "I know where they all are, I know how to destroy them, there's no other way."

He looked up at her sharply. "There's more than one?" he asked incredulously. Hermione nodded.

"As of right now there are five, there were seven in my time," she explained. "They're called horcruxes, and they're horrible. You have to kill someone to create one, murder rips the soul and then there's a ritual you can do to sever half of it and conceal it in an object of your choosing. As long as your soul is safe within its vessel you cannot die, but it renders your soul unstable, and if you do it enough times you go mad."

"He did it seven times?" Remus breathed, looking down at the diadem in disgust.

"Six, technically the seventh one was an accident," she corrected him. "I'll explain everything, more in depth later, but we need to go meet Sirius and James. We have things to do today, a horcrux to destroy."

 _A monster to kill_ , she thought, though she knew better than to tell Remus exactly what it was she was planning. He'd never let her open the chamber if he knew what was waiting for them inside, and she needed to slay the Basilisk if she wanted to destroy any of the horcruxes.

* * *

 ** _A/N: I'm just going to address a few guest reviews down here guys, feel free to ignore this, or read on if you want, that's fine too._**

 ** _BlueFrost:_** _Thank you for your review! I am so glad that you are enjoying the story so far. You are right, at 18 weeks it is highly unlikely that Hermione, let alone Remus, would be able to feel the baby kicking, especially given that the baby is so small. I have a reason for writing this the way that I have and you will find out soon what it is I promise!_


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter tried to kill me. That is literally all I have to say about it.**

 **In other news, we've caught up to everything I had prewritten. That is to say the update schedule might be a little fucked up from this point forward. I'm taking a major step in my life and I'm moving away from my hometown. Which means that things are going to be hectic for a while, but I promise you that I'm always, ALWAYS working on this story. Bit by bit, every day.**

 **Thank you all for your reviews on the last chapter, you're all amazing. Just a reminder that there is still time to vote on what you want Hermione to name her baby!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader NDMC. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 8**_

 _ **March 15, 1997**_

" _What are you going to do about Ron?" Harry asked her, startling her out of her thoughts. Hermione looked up at him from where she sat, on the floor of the Astronomy Tower._

" _What do you mean?" she asked, sighing because she knew exactly what he meant. Harry sat down beside her and put an arm around her._

" _He likes you," Harry told her. Hermione shrugged._

" _And?"_

" _And you don't like him back," he stated. She looked at him, feeling uneasy at the way he was watching her, his emerald green eyes full of wisdom far beyond his sixteen years._

" _Oh?" she said, trying to appear uninterested in the conversation. She didn't want to talk about Remus with Harry, though she had a feeling that he already knew somehow. He always seemed to know more about her than she wanted him to._

" _I don't know who it is, though I think I have a pretty good idea, but someone has caught your attention and it isn't Ron."_

 _Hermione huffed. "What makes you think that Harry?" she asked, looking away from him. Harry laughed._

" _Hermione Granger you are my best friend," he reached out and took her hand in his, "my sister, I like to think I know you well enough that I can tell when someone has you distracted."_

" _I'm not distracted," she muttered as she leaned into him and laid her head on his shoulder._

" _You didn't answer any of Professor Flitwick's questions in Charms yesterday, and people noticed," he said, letting go of her hand to put an arm around her. "You get a letter every Saturday morning and it's not wise for anyone to talk to you if he misses a week because you get snappy. Every time you see that owl your entire face lights up, like it's Christmas and your birthday at the same time."_

" _Go on then and tell me who you seem to think it is," she sighed._

" _It's Remus, that's the only person that makes sense to me," he admitted. "You spent most of the summer with him, when ever someone mentions him your entire body goes rigid and I know that you're straining your ears to hear what's being said. You smile when you talk about him, and I know that something happened over Christmas because Ron said something about him in passing the other day and you turned cherry red."_

 _She could feel his eyes on her and she lifted her head just enough to meet his gaze. "I didn't mean for it to happen," she whispered, horrified when her voice cracked and tears sprung to her eyes. "It was, the first kiss, it was an accident, I meant to kiss his cheek but he turned his head. It was full moon day and he lost control and he kissed me and Gods I'm an idiot because I kissed him back. He freaked out, avoided me for days, I didn't want him to know that I've liked him for a really long time so I told him it wasn't a big deal but... it_ was _Harry._

" _And then, over Christmas, I went to Fred and George's shop to get some things I needed and the twins decided that they had a sudden urge to be responsible and they flooed Remus to tell him that I was there without an escort." She looked away from him again, afraid to see the look on his face when she told him just how far she had fallen for one of his father's best friends. "He took me to Grimmauld Place and we fought and then we were kissing and..." she trailed off, wondering how she should tell him everything she'd been thinking since that day in Grimmauld Place._

" _Did you shag him, Hermione?" Harry asked, sounding amused. Hermione looked up at him in surprise to see that his eye were lit with silent laughter. "You think I'm going to be mad at you if you did?" he guessed and she nodded. "Merlin Hermione, I can't think of two people more perfect for each other than you and Remus. You're also the two people in this world that I most want to see happy. It's a little weird, I mean he was one of my dad's best mates, but as long as you promise not to give me any details I'm not going to be upset if you're shagging Remus."_

" _I didn't, I mean we didn't, uhm, it was just kissing," she blurted, her entire face flushing crimson. "But... Harry I... I love him. I want there to be more, and while Remus has agreed to try a relationship with me, when I'm_ older _," she couldn't help rolling her eyes, "I don't think it's going to work out for us."_

" _You can feel it too, can't you?" Harry asked, holding her a little tighter. "Something's coming, something bad."_

 _She nodded. "I'm afraid," she admitted. "Everything is going to change."_

" _Not everything," Harry argued. Hermione frowned in confusion. "You'll always be my best friend, and I'll always be yours, and there's not a power in this world that can change that."_

 _Hermione squeezed her eyes tightly closed and pressed closer into Harry's side as he gently kissed the top of her head. The world was at a tipping point, balancing precariously on the razor's edge of something dark, and dangerous. But there was nothing they could do, they were only children and there was nothing they could do but wait for it all to come crumbling down on top of them._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 5, 1981**_

Remus and Hermione crowded beneath the invisibility cloak on their trip back down to the girl's bathroom where they were supposed to meet James and Sirius. He still didn't understand what was going on, why they were meeting in a girl's bathroom or why she had sent James and Sirius out to steal a _rooster_. What the bloody hell were they going to do with a rooster? And what did it have to do with the horcruxes?

Remus shivered and glanced down at the object in his hand. He didn't like it, didn't like touching it, didn't like it being so close to Hermione. Evil seemed to radiate from it, it made him feel sick to his stomach. Hermione was right, it had to be destroyed, nothing good would come from it.

"Let's get this over with," Hermione sighed as she pushed open the door to the girl's bathroom and stepped inside. James and Sirius were already there, struggling with an irritated looking rooster, looking severely uncomfortable. Hermione rolled her eyes as she stepped out from underneath the cloak.

" _Petrificus totalus_ ," she muttered, pointing her wand at the rooster. It stopped struggling immediately and both James and Sirius gave her wide eyed looks of admiration.

"Right, didn't think of that," Sirius admitted. Hermione rolled her eyes and turned back to the door, doing a complicated series of patterns with her wand as she muttered spells that Remus couldn't quite make out.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Warding the door so no one can interrupt us, obviously," Hermione replied. "Not that anyone ever comes in here anyways, Myrtle does a good job at keeping people away. Are you guys ready for the next part of the plan?" she asked.

"I think we'd be more ready if you would actually tell us what the plan was," Remus told her honestly. He didn't like how secretive she was being, or the way that she seemed to be avoiding looking at him again. She sighed and turned away from them, walking slowly across the room until she was standing in front of one of the sinks.

He watched as Hermione reached out a hand and lightly ran her fingers over the side of the faucet. She took a deep breath before she made a strangled sort of hissing sound that made his hair stand on end. Nothing happened and her brows furrowed and her nose scrunched up as she frowned. She did it again, slightly different this time, he wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish but she was getting frustrated that it wasn't working.

"Hermione, what are you-" Remus began but she cut him off by making the noise again. There was a heavy scraping noise and the three marauders watched, wide eyed as the sink sank down into the floor, revealing a large, open pipe big enough for a person to fit into.

Hermione turned to face them. "Who wants to go first?" she asked. "I would but someone needs to catch me at the bottom or I might hurt the baby."

"Are you out of your mind?" Remus hissed, feeling suddenly very, very angry. "You're not going down there!" He had a desperately bad feeling about the entire situation, she was being entirely too secretive.

"Remus I have to," she argued. "There's no other way. We have to destroy the diadem and we need to go down there in order to do it."

"What's down there?" he demanded. Hermione hesitated, biting her lip nervously as she seemed to contemplate her answer.

"The Chamber of Secrets," she admitted softly.

"That's just a legend," Sirius argued.

Hermione shook her head, "it's not a legend Sirius."

"What's the Chamber of Secrets?" Remus asked, looking between Hermione and Sirius in confusion.

"Supposedly, Salazar Slytherin had a secret chamber built into the school that only he and his ancestors could open," Sirius explained. "It's supposed to be the home of some kind of creature, a monster that, when released, was meant to cleanse the school of all those with 'impure' blood."

"Not supposedly," Hermione murmured, her eyes straying to the pipe again. "It was opened in my second year. Four students, including myself, were petrified by the monster. I knew what it was but it got to me before I could tell anyone. Harry slayed it with the Sword of Gryffindor."

"What is it?" James asked curiously.

"It's a Basilisk," she answered.

"That's why you need the rooster, because if it hears the rooster's crow it'll die," Remus said, realization dawning on him. Hermione turned to look at him, biting her lip nervously.

"I need it's fangs, Basilisk venom is one of the only ways to destroy a horcrux," she elucidated.

"What's a horcrux?" James and Sirius asked in unison.

"I'll explain that later," she promised absently, waving them off, her eyes still locked on Remus. "Please, it's perfectly safe, the Basilisk is asleep and can only be awoken by the heir of Slytherin. As long as you catch me at the bottom of the pipe there's no chances of me getting hurt."

Remus narrowed his eyes at her. _She's lying_ , Moony growled. "You don't know that," Remus accused. Hermione looked guilty.

"I'm ninety percent sure that the snake is sleeping," she said, but it sounded more like a question than a statement.

Remus sighed and looked up at the ceiling for a long moment before nodding in agreement. He didn't like it, but he knew that if he tried to stop her from going Hermione was likely to hex him, and he had no desire to be at the business end of her wand. He also had no desire for her to be upset with him, knowing that it might ruin his chances with her later on.

"Fine, I'll go first," he relented.

..oo0O0oo..

They made their way into the Chamber, Sirius and James looking around in an odd mixture of awe and disgust, while Remus watched her intently. Hermione hated the way he watched her, it reminded her entirely too much of his older counterpart.

"Just remember to keep your eyes down as much as possible, just in case," Hermione reminded them absently as she released the rooster from the spell she'd placed on it earlier. It squawked indignantly and pecked at Sirius, as if demanding to be released. Sirius let go of it almost instantly, and Hermione smiled sweetly at him in return for the death glare he gave her.

"So what do we do now?" James asked, sounding slightly nervous. Hermione took a deep breath and looked around cautiously.

"We look for the snake I guess," she said, shrugging. "Honestly this entire endeavor was easier the last time I was down here, Harry had already killed the fucking thing."

She shivered and Remus moved closer to her and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at him. No doubt he was concerned that she was cold or scared and she half expected him to open his mouth and start suggesting that she go back up to the bathroom and wait for them there. He never got the opportunity.

There was the sound of something moving at the back of the Chamber, and Hermione froze when she realized that it was something large, something that was hissing. "Fuck, it's awake," she cursed. "Where the bloody hell did the rooster go?" she demanded, looking around frantically.

"It wasn't my turn to watch it," James quipped, clearly not fully grasping the seriousness of the situation they were in now that their greatest weapon against the monster had disappeared.

"No it was Sirius' job to watch the fucking thing," Hermione snapped.

"Oh sure, blame me!" Sirius growled.

"Now is not the fucking time!" Remus scolded them all.

"Guys we have company," James interjected. They all turned to see the Basilisk coming towards them, moving at a quick pace that Hermione thought to be eerily unnatural. She was immediately thankful that it was too far away to make eye contact with.

"Hermione what do we do?" Sirius demanded.

"I don't know," she squeaked.

"What do you mean you don't know?" James yelled frantically.

"Losing the rooster was _not_ part of the plan you arse!" she defended herself weakly.

"Oh for _fuck's_ sake," Remus groaned. " _Accio rooster!_ " There was an irritated cluck and the rooster flew towards them from one of the darkened corners of the room. Remus caught it and looked pointedly at Hermione. " _Now_ what's the plan?" he asked.

"If it crows the Basilisk will die," Hermione told him, panicking slightly as she realized how many holes were in her plan.

" _If?!_ " James, Sirius, and Remus all yelled at the same time. Hermione rolled her eyes at their dramatics.

"Oh fuck!" Sirius exclaimed, slightly hysterically. Hermione looked over to see that the Basilisk was almost on top of them, rearing it's head back to strike. She didn't know what to do, she almost wished she had the Sword of Gryffindor with her, maybe then she could stab the bloody thing and be done with it.

The moment the thought entered her head she could almost hear Ron screaming at her in frustration. _Are you a witch or not?_ She laughed, and Remus gave her the most incredulous look she'd ever seen.

" _Lumos solem!_ " Hermione shouted pointing her wand at the rooster. There was a bright flash as the brilliant sunlight poured out of her wand, temporarily blinding them all as the rooster let out a loud crow.

The Basilisk let out a pained screech as it fell to the floor in front of them, narrowly missing landing on top of Sirius.

"See?" Hermione said, laughing. "Everything is fine." Three pairs of eyes turned to glare at her as she continued to laugh.

"You think this is funny?" Remus demanded. Hermione nodded.

"Did you see Sirius' face?" she asked. "I thought he was going to piss his pants." There was a long pause before James started to snicker followed shortly by Sirius and then they were all laughing hysterically, except for Remus who looked like he was contemplating giving them all detention.

"I don't find anything funny about this," Remus growled.

"No one got hurt Remus, and honestly watching that chicken fly across the room at you was pretty fucking funny," James defended.

"It's a rooster," Hermione and Remus corrected him at the same time. Hermione looked over at him and sobered instantly as the reason for Remus' serious attitude suddenly occurred to her. He was still holding the horcrux.

"Remus, drop the diadem," she told him gently. His glare intensified and she held out a placating hand. "Please, the only reason you're so angry is because you're holding it."

"The reason I'm angry is because you dragged us all down here with a half arsed plan that almost got us killed!" he shouted.

"Remus, no one got hurt, we're all fine and the Basilisk is dead," Hermione murmured, moving closer to him, one hand outstretched, longing to touch him. "Drop the diadem, you'll feel better, I promise."

"You don't know how I feel," he hissed. Hermione let out a bitter laugh.

"Yes, I do," she argued. "You feel like there's a heavy weight on your chest. You're angry, you feel insecure, like every doubt you've ever had about yourself is true. I remember, we took turns wearing one for _months_ , I hated myself so much. It whispered things to me, it told me that I was unwanted, unworthy of magic, unworthy of love, just a useless, _filthy_ _mudblood_. I can only imagine what it's whispering to you, but it's not true, and this is not how you really feel Remus. Drop the diadem, _please_ ," she begged, her hand reaching up to touch his face.

His eyes closed and he took a ragged breath as the diadem slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. He sucked in several deep breaths before opening his eyes and looking directly into hers. "Better?" she asked. He nodded and Hermione smiled at him. "Good, now time to destroy it." She turned away from him and started moving towards the Basilisk but was stopped by his hand on her arm.

"Not you, it's dark magic and you won't be touching it, not the snake and not that fucking tiara either," he growled.

"I agree, I'll be doing it," James said, stepping forward. "I'd like the opportunity to kill something today if you don't mind, so just tell me what to do and I'll do it." Hermione stared at him for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"You need to pull a few of the Basilisk's fangs, we'll need at least five, one for today and four for future use," she instructed him. "Once you've got the fang all you'll need to do is stab the diadem." She bit her lip nervously. "James, look at me," she commanded. James looked over to meet her eyes. "It will prey on your insecurities, it's important that you _do not_ let it get to you. Just stab the diadem and then we can all go back to the hospital wing."

She watched as James used his wand to pull the Basilisk's teeth before he sank to his knees on the floor in front of the diadem. She wondered, for a moment, what his demons would be, and she desperately hoped that he would just stab the bloody thing and get it over with so that she wouldn't have to find out. He gripped the fang he held in his hand with a death grip and raised it over his head, she watched as he took a deep breath, preparing himself, and that split second was his biggest mistake.

" _James,_ " a ghostly mirage of Lily appeared in front of him, staring down at him with a look of blatant disgust on her face. " _Do you honestly think you're strong enough to destroy me?_ " she asked. Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat as James looked up at his wife with tears in his eyes. " _You couldn't even protect us when it mattered most, you needed a time traveler with a sword to do it for you._ "

"I tried," he whimpered. "I tried so hard Lily."

" _You're pathetic. What woman could possibly want a man that can't protect his own family?_ " Lily spat, her eyes blazing with hatred. " _You're nothing! I never should have married you, I hate you!_ "

"James, that isn't true," Hermione yelled. "Lily loves you, you know she does. Stab the diadem!"

The fake Lily turned to look at Hermione for a moment before morphing into someone else, her features rearranging until Harry stood in front of her, staring at her with Lily's eyes. " _I'm so disappointed in you Hermione,_ " he said. " _We had a mission, we had a mission and you ruined it! All because you couldn't keep your bloody legs closed!_ "

"You're not real," she murmured, her spine straightening in determination.

" _He never loved you,_ " Harry sneered at her. " _Who could love you? Swotty, plain, know-it-all Hermione with her nose stuck in a book and stick shoved up her arse? He didn't love you, he used you because you were an easy lay, nothing but a stupid, ugly mudbl-_ " the horcrux let out a scream as James brought the fang down and stabbed the diadem. He was breathing heavily, staring down at the mangled silver tiara with hate filled eyes. There was a long silence, filled only by the sound of their breathing and the irritated clucking of the rooster as it struggled in Remus' hold.

"James, you don't really think-" Sirius cut off mid-sentence when James glared at him.

"They would have died, if it weren't for Hermione they would have died," he muttered angrily. "I was supposed to protect them, Sirius. Lily was counting on me to protect them and I didn't!"

Sirius stepped forward so that he was standing directly in front of his best friend, his face twisted in annoyance. "You died protecting them James!" Sirius reminded him firmly. "The first time around you gave your life to save theirs, you did everything you could, and even if you hadn't... none of that matters now, it didn't happen. You lived, Lily and Harry lived, and you have the rest of your life to prove that you _can_ protect them, that you _will_."

James frowned, his expression going deeply contemplative for a moment and Hermione sighed in relief when he nodded and climbed to his feet, pulling his best friend into a tight hug. It was the kind of moment that was so indescribably private that Hermione couldn't help but feel like an interloper as she witnessed it. "Right," James said, letting go of Sirius and stepping back. "Let's get what we need and get back to the Hospital Wing, before Lily skins us for doing this without her."


	9. Chapter 9

**In honor of our favorite werewolf's birthday I've decided to get my butt in gear and post this chapter! I'm sorry it's late, and a little shorter than the others – though it still meets my 3,000 word minimum rule – but I moved! I'm currently looking for employment and refocusing a lot of my attention on my original novel so updates may be slow but I'm doing my best to ensure that you will see an update at least once a month!**

 **Thank you for all of your support on the last chapter you guys, I can't tell you how blown away I am by how wonderful you all are! Also this is your last chance to vote on what Hermione should name her baby, as I will be taking the poll down by the next update, you can find the poll on my profile!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Lots of love to my alpha reader Kreeblim Sabs, and to my beta reader NDMC. And tons of love for ShayaLonnie who's support and advice on this fic has been invaluable.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 9**_

 _ **July 5, 1997**_

 _He couldn't find her. He'd searched everywhere he could think of and Hermione was nowhere to be seen. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he tried to think of where she could be. Where hadn't he looked? The kitchens, but he highly doubted she'd be there. Hermione didn't strike him as the emotional eating type._

" _She's in the Room of Requirement."_

 _Remus jumped at the sound of Harry's voice. He'd been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't heard the younger wizard approach. "Who?" he asked._

" _Hermione, obviously," Harry drawled, giving the werewolf a knowing smile._

" _What makes you think I'm looking for Hermione?" Remus shifted nervously, avoiding eye contact._

" _Please, you hardly took your eyes off of her during the funeral," Harry snorted. "She's in the Room of Requirement, it's on the seventh floor, across from that tapestry with ballet dancing trolls on it. Pace back and forth three times and think about what you need, the door should appear, provided Hermione hasn't requested it to keep everyone else out."_

" _Harry I-" Remus started but Harry held up a hand._

" _I already told Hermione that I don't care. As long as she's happy you have my blessing," he said, "but if you hurt her Remus I'll never forgive you."_

" _I-"_

" _She's probably upset," Harry told him. "You should go."_

 _Remus watched, slack jawed, as Harry walked away. He wasn't sure what had just happened, or how much Hermione had told Harry, but he didn't have time to worry about that. Hermione was his top priority and he needed to see that she was okay._

 _He followed Harry's instructions until he found himself facing the blank stretch of wall opposite of what was probably the ugliest tapestry he had ever seen. There was no door. Remus took a deep breath and began to pace._ I need to see Hermione, I need to see Hermione, I need to see Hermione.

 _When he looked up he frowned, because there still wasn't a door and he wondered if she'd asked the room to keep him out. He began to pace again._ I need to see where Hermione is, I need to see where Hermione is, I need to see where Hermione is. _There was still no door._

 _He thought about her, thought about what he knew about her. She'd been in knots for weeks, worried because she knew that_ something _was coming. Something bad, she'd said, and he'd done his best to comfort her but nothing had helped. Knowing her the way that he did he knew she was blaming herself, her brilliant mind coming up with several ways she could have done things differently and saved everyone. The Hermione Granger he knew wouldn't be upset yet, she'd be angry, and she'd need a place she could take her anger out on._

 _He began to pace again._ I need to see DA headquarters, I need to see DA headquarters, I need to see DA headquarters. _He looked up and felt a small bubble of hope swell in his chest at the sight of a door. Reaching out and taking hold of the door knob Remus took several deep breaths to prepare himself for whatever state he might find his mate in before he stepped into the room._

 _She was dueling. Surrounded by mannequins holding fake wands, several of them lay in pieces on the floor where she had blasted them apart in her fury. The door closed behind him and Hermione whirled around, a spell he didn't recognize flying from her wand so fast that Remus almost wasn't able to block it in time._

 _Her eyes widened and she stared at him for long moment, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. The air around her crackled with energy, her face was flushed from exertion and her hair was sparking with excess magic. Remus felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he gave her a slight bow._

 _She didn't hesitate, and within seconds they were locked in a vicious duel. Hermione wasn't playing around, she was angry, maybe not at him but he knew she needed someone to take out her frustrations on. He was more than willing to be that someone, mostly because it was the only way he could be sure she wouldn't get hurt._

 _If at all possible she had improved since their last duel, and he remembered very well how that had ended. He ducked and blocked hex after hex and he could feel her irritation growing every time she failed to land something on him. Her lips were moving so fast, spells flying rapidly, he was sure that she was doing some of them wordlessly. She'd been practicing, he wondered how many times she had come to this room to practice since the school year had started._

 _Remus was getting tired and though he knew Hermione was too she showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. He blocked a slicing hex and sent two back at her, followed closely by a wordless disarming spell, she blocked the first two, but the last one caught her by surprise and her wand sailed through the air and into his hand._

" _Hermione," he murmured. She was staring at him, her eyes half wild as she tried to get a handle on her emotions._

" _I knew something was going to happen," she whispered. If it weren't for his heightened senses Remus wouldn't have heard her at all. "I tried to warn you, all of you, no one would_ listen _to me."_

" _I know, I know and I'm sorry Hermione," he told her._

" _I'm mad at you," she said. He felt his stomach twist painfully and he took a step forward, stopping abruptly when she took a step back. "What's going on with you and Tonks?" she demanded. He faltered for a moment, the question throwing him off kilter. He'd forgotten about Tonks and her bloody dramatic declaration of love. She'd done it in front of everyone, including Hermione, and he'd been furious with her for it._

" _Nothing," he assured her. "We talked, I told her that I didn't want to be with her. I promise that there is nothing going on between me and Tonks."_

 _She stared at him for a long time, her gaze penetrating. "Promise me," she whispered, her voice trembling._

" _There's no one but you Hermione," he promised. "Not Tonks, not anyone, only you."_

 _There were several beats of silence and then Hermione was running, closing the distance between them and he barely had time to prepare himself to catch her when she launched herself at him._

" _What are you- mph!" She cut him off with her lips on his, kissing him almost frantically. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and he was all too aware of the bare skin of her thighs beneath his hands – how had he not noticed that she was still wearing her black dress?_

" _Remus," she breathed, breaking away from him for a moment to look into his eyes. "Please." There was no need to ask her what she meant, he could smell her arousal, could feel the heat of her as she rubbed herself against him. "Please Remus, I want you."_

" _We shouldn't-" he began but she cut him off with a forlorn sigh_

" _Don't you want me?" she asked. He met her eyes, alarmed at the genuine hurt in her voice._

" _Of course I do," he assured her. "You know I do, but Hermione, you're so-"_

" _If you say young I might actually hit you," she grumbled._

" _I just want you to be sure that this is really what you want," he murmured, unable to stop himself from burying his face in the crook of her neck and inhaling her scent._

" _I want this," she said, moaning a little when he pressed his lips to her pulse point. "I want you, Remus,_ please _."_

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 5, 1981**_

Albus Dumbledore and Alastor Moody walked into the hospital wing followed by Bane and Ronan and Hermione felt slightly uneasy by the implication of what it meant that Dumbledore had brought an Auror with him to hear her explanation of how she'd come to be in the past. Time travel was, technically, highly illegal without ministry approval.

"Headmaster, Mad Eye," Hermione greeted them coolly, she noticed the way that Moody's good eye narrowed when she addressed him. She turned to Bane and Ronan and smiled warmly at them. "Bane, Ronan, it's so good to see you again, please forgive me, I would stand but it's such a bother to get up and sit down again." She touched her stomach and the two centaurs straightened slightly, looking oddly proud to be addressed by her.

"Traveler," Ronan began, "you do not have to rise for us, our people have waited for you for centuries, it is an honor to stand in the presence of you and your young."

Hermione frowned, heavily aware of the way that her new friends were staring between her and the centaur in confusion. "I'm afraid that I don't quite understand," she admitted. "You've been waiting for me?"

"You will save us all," Bane said as she met his eyes.

"You said that, the night you sent me back," she murmured absently. "You looked at me like... like you were proud of me and you said that, why do you think that?"

"A thousand years ago a prophecy was discovered in the stars by our people" Bane explained. "It was foretold that two souls would live a dozen lives, each one more tragic than the last. The stars did not tell us who these souls would be, nor what would make their lives so tragic, only that they would not be allowed to be together until their final life. In their final life something would happen that would disrupt the flow of time and the Traveler would need to be sent back to fix it."

"The bracelet around your wrist was forged by our ancestors to aid the Traveler in their quest," Ronan continued. "The night you arrived in this time the bracelet disappeared from it's place of honor in our village. You are what we have been waiting for, you have come here to find your destiny."

The room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop. Hermione's mind was working a mile a minute, her logical side trying desperately to remind her that Divination was nothing but a waste of time, it was unreliable at best, but the side of her that had watched Harry suffer for a prophesy knew better. The centaurs were certain to be more accurate than a crackpot like Trelawney at any rate.

"And it's me, I'm this person, this Traveler that you've waited centuries to meet?" she asked, voice wavering. "How can you be sure?" It was too much, she knew the implications of what they were telling her, they might have given her a different title but they were telling her that she was the new bloody Chosen One.

"The bracelet would not have sealed itself around your wrist if you were not the one it was meant for," Bane told her. "Have you used it yet? It will only answer to you, to your needs."

"She used it a few days after she arrived," Lily spoke up, adjusting Harry's position on her hip. "She said my son's name in her sleep and touched the bracelet and he appeared, much older than he is now, like a ghost or something. He spoke to us."

Bane and Ronan both nodded. "Then there's no question, you are the Traveler," Ronan said, smiling softly.

"I don't get any say in this then?" she asked, her voice thick with tears. Bane gave her a soft, sad smile.

"I'm afraid not," he answered. "You have a great destiny, Traveler, it is written in the stars."

"We will speak to you again, when you have completed your task," Ronan promised her. "Until then, we bid you farewell." They bowed to her before leaving the room, their abrupt departure combined with the intensity of the information they'd felt the need to pile on her shoulders leaving her feeling slightly rattled.

"There is a second prophecy," Dumbledore said, smiling at her kindly. Hermione resisted the urge to sneer at him, she'd forgotten that he was in the room. "I'd like to discus it with you." There was no mistaking that twinkle in his eyes, she knew it so well having seen it many times before. She'd always thought that it made him look grandfatherly and kind, but now that she was older, wiser, knew him better, she knew that that twinkle only appeared when he was attempting to manipulate someone.

"No," she said firmly. "I'm not going to be your new pawn so you can fuck off. I'm not interested in helping you."

"Watch your tone girl," Moody snapped at her. "Do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

"Yes, actually I do. In fact, I'm willing to say that I know more about him than you do." Hermione lifted her chin defiantly, looking the old Auror directly in the eyes as she spoke. "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, born in the summer of 1881 in Mould-on-the-Wold, England to Kendra and Percival Dumbledore, brother to Aberforth and Ariana Dumbledore. Attended Hogwarts from 1892 until 1899, a Gryffindor, hailed as the most brilliant student Hogwarts has ever known. He made Prefect and Head boy and was the winner of Barnabus Finkley Prize for Exceptional Spell Casting.

"He went on to become the Transfiguration professor here at Hogwarts, and succeeded Armando Dippet as Headmaster. He is known for discovering the twelve uses of dragon's blood, for defeating Gellert Grindelwald in 1945, a feat that earned him an Order of Merlin First Class." Hermione's voice rose with every word, her hair sparking with magic as a cold breeze swept through the room. "He also serves as Supreme Mugwump for the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. Have I missed anything Headmaster? Would you like for me to go on about some of your less well known accomplishments?"

"I daresay Miss Granger that you have made your point quite clear," Dumbledore conceded. "You know exactly who you are speaking too. May I ask, my dear, what it is I have done to make you hate me so?"

"Your poor treatment of orphaned boys for starters," she spat at him. "Harry Potter became the most famous person in the wizarding world, although he wasn't aware of it until after he turned eleven. He never had an opportunity for a normal life and quite honestly I hold you fully accountable for that.

"You were the one that decided to leave him with his aunt and uncle, you were the one that purposefully withheld information from him, about who he was, about the prophecy, and in the end about what role he would have to play in order to defeat Voldemort. You raised him like a sacrificial lamb, protecting him until it was the right time for him to die and then you sent him off on a mission with nothing more than a few whispers and half formed theories to guide him.

"I watched my best friend suffer. I watched him slowly lose himself to the piece of Voldemort's soul that was lodged inside of him like a parasite and you _knew_ about it and you said _nothing._ You did _nothing_ to save him, you just let him think that he was going mad!" By the time she finished speaking she was practically screaming, the flames that lit the sconces around the room were flickering rapidly, threatening to splutter out. Hermione knew that her hair was probably sparking and she was more than likely scaring her new friends, but she could bring herself to care anymore.

"You cannot blame me for things I haven't done," Dumbledore said softly. Hermione laughed.

"I can though," she told him. "I can because even if you haven't I know that you're capable of it. I know that you will stop at nothing, that you will sacrifice anyone you can and justify it with a simple claim that it was _for the greater good_." She watched as something flickered in the older wizard's eyes, a flash of realization that had him turning suddenly pale.

"How much do you know?" he whispered. Hermione's smile was cruel as she thought about Ariana Dumbledore and what she knew of her fate. About what she knew about Grindelwald and the Hallows. She could use that information against him, it would be easy to blackmail him with it, and she had every intention of doing so if he tried to push her too far.

"Much more than you could ever want me too," she answered. "So I suggest you tread carefully."

"Are you trying to blackmail me?" he asked in astonishment.

"What does it sound like?" Hermione quirked a brow at him. Dumbledore was looking at her incredulously, his brows drawn together in confusion as he studied her.

"It seems that I've underestimated you," he murmured.

"People have an annoying tendency of doing that," she agreed. "I don't want to hear your prophecy. I have no interest in fighting a war right now, if-" she sighed and looked down at her stomach, her hands caressing the bump there "-if things were different I might have a different answer for you. But I have to think about her, I have to do what's best for her, and being your new Chosen One, isn't it."

"I understand," Dumbledore said softly. "But I will ask you again, after you've had your baby, and I hope that you might be more agreeable."

"Don't count on it," she warned as he turned to leave, Moody following shortly behind him. He paused in the doorway, turning to look at her.

"You said orphaned boys," he pointed out. "If I might ask, who is the other boy you're referring to?"

"I think that your treatment of Tom Riddle is a discussion better left for another time," she told him, delighting in the way that he stiffened and his eyes narrowed hatefully at the sound of that name. He turned and swept out of the room without another word, leaving Hermione alone to explain things to her new friends.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello my loves! It's been a while. I'm so fucking sorry. I went into a bit of a funk. Okay, that's a lie, I spiraled into a deep, dark hole of depression and self pity. I couldn't write, or do much of anything really, but I'm getting better now, and I'm writing again. I'm not going to say that I'll be posting with any sort of regularity, I don't want to put that kind of pressure on myself, but you can have this chapter right now. This very, very unbetaed, not even alpha read chapter. Fuck I am so sorry.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 10**_

 _ **July 5, 1997**_

 _She wasn't sure when it had happened, but at some point Remus had moved them so that she was pressed against the wall, trapping her between his body and the rough stone with her legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were still at her throat, nipping and sucking at the sensitive flesh, making her entire body feel feverish with need. If he were anyone else she might have been embarrassed by the sounds she was making, or the way that she could not stop herself from rocking her hips against him._

" _Remus," she moaned. She felt one of his hands pulling at her dress, yanking it out from between them to give him better access to her dripping wet center._

" _Fuck," he groaned when he slid his hand between them and stroked along her slit, discovering that she wasn't wearing any knickers._

" _Please," she begged, whimpering when he slipped two fingers inside of her. "Remus- Remus please." She let her head fall back against the stone wall as he continue working her with his fingers, his lips leaving a trail of kisses and love bites across her jaw and down her neck._

" _Patience," he chided, but even as he spoke his fingers left her to fumble with his belt. Hermione slid her arms down from around his neck to undo the buttons on his shirt, slowly revealing the scarred skin of his chest. She couldn't seem to keep her hands still, they roamed over his body of their own volition, tracing over the lines of his scars as if memorizing them. "Look at me," he panted._

 _Her eyes rose to meet his, and she noticed that there was not a hint of green to be seen, his eyes were molten pools of liquid gold. She felt his cock press against her entrance and she let out a needy whine. "If we do this Hermione, there is no going back," he whispered. "If we do this you're mine, and I'm never letting you go."_

" _Make me yours Remus," she breathed. There was a flicker of deep emotion in his eyes, something primal and dark, possessive, as he slid himself into her in one smooth thrust. All of the air left her lungs as he began to move, slowly at first and then building to a steady rhythm that left her gasping._

 _His head fell forward, coming to rest on the hollow of her throat, and she could feel more than hear him growling into her skin. There was a deep burning ache building inside of her, a tense coil of emotion that had settled in her core and was growing tighter and tighter by the second._

" _Remus," she gasped. Remus brought his head up and his eyes locked onto hers._ _The intensity of the emotions she saw there were almost too much and she felt the coil tighten further. His pace quickened, his hips snapping violently with every thrust._

" _You're mine," he growled. "My witch. My mate. Mine."_

 _Hermione cried out as the coil sprung loose. Her eyes closed and her head fell back against the wall and she was lost in a sea of bliss. Through the haze she could feel Remus' mouth against her throat, could feel his teeth scraping against her skin and for a moment she thought that he might bite her. He choked out her name and she could feel him spill his seed inside of her._

 _He lowered them both to the floor, breathing hard. Hermione cuddled into him, pressing herself against him so that they were touching as much as possible. They sat together in silence, neither of them feeling the need to fill the space between them with empty words and promises, and it didn't take long for Hermione to fall asleep in his arms._

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **November 6, 1981**_

After Dumbledore left the hospital wing there had been no time for Remus and his friends to question Hermione. Madam Pomfrey had appeared out of thin air the moment the old man was out of ear shot and insisted on giving Hermione one last scan before they were allowed to take her home. It took almost a half hour before the mediwitch would let them go and by that time Hermione was exhausted.

There hadn't been time for the grand tour of the flat that Sirius had been hoping for. Instead they had showed Hermione to her room where she had very nearly burst into tears before almost knocking Sirius over in a bone crushing hug, thanking him profusely. Shortly after she had given them all a pleading look before announcing that she was extremely tired.

The next morning Remus waited with the others in the living room for Hermione to make an appearance. They were all on edge, but none of them more so than Lily, who kept standing up and pacing the room before plopping down on the couch next to James. They had left Harry with the Longbottoms for the day, figuring that anything Hermione told them would be better off not reaching his little ears.

"Good morning," Hermione said shyly, startling them all as she stepped into the living room. Remus turned to look at her, his eyes roaming over her, his wolf cataloging every detail and committing it to memory. She looked tired, her eyes still had dark circles beneath them making Remus wonder if she had gotten any sleep at all the night before, and she was wearing another jersey – this one looked new, maybe custom ordered like the one that bore his name – with 'LONGBOTTOM' emblazoned on it.

"Tell me something kitten," Sirius drawled, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "Where did you get so many Quidditch jerseys?"

Remus watched with interest at the way that Hermione's face flushed with color, the way that she crossed her arms over her chest and shifted self consciously as her eyes lowered to the floor.

"They – the Gryffindor boys in my year, and all of the Weasley brothers, and you and Remus – thought it would be funny if they all gave me a jersey, in their size, for Christmas during my fifth year," she explained. "Everyone who actually played Quidditch gave me one of their old jerseys, and the other boys had them custom made. Harry said it was their way of trying to get me to stop stealing all their jumpers, not that it worked." She shrugged as she walked more fully into the room, stopping when she reached the edge of the rug.

"That one from Frank and Alice's boy? Neville?" Sirius asked curiously. Hermione nodded, smiling softly.

"He didn't play, couldn't even ride a broom," she told them, laughing softly with a far away look in her eyes, obviously thinking back on a fond memory. "We would sit together for all of Harry's games, he was the youngest Seeker in a century you know, Harry I mean, made the team in our first year. Completely by accident, of course. I hated Quidditch, I can't stand flying, Ron and Harry thought I was mental, but I never missed a match. Neville would sit with me and we would talk about Herbology and Ancient Runes, when I wasn't hyperventilating over Harry pulling some new trick that would land him in the hospital wing, which honestly happened quite often-"

"Hermione," Remus interrupted, reaching out and taking her hand, "breathe."

The breath she took was shaky, and Remus could feel the way her hand trembled in his. He was struck with the sudden thought that if he were in her place he wouldn't be able to handle the situation with as much grace as she had. If he had been whisked twenty years into the past after watching James and Sirius and Lily die he wouldn't have been able to find the strength to get out of bed, let alone do half the things Hermione had done since she'd woken up.

"You probably have questions for me," she said after taking a minute to calm herself down. "Especially after yesterday."

Remus frowned and shook his head. "Hermione, you don't have to tell us anything-" he began but she sighed and shook her head, cutting him off.

"You deserve to know. If you're going to help me end this war then you need to know," she told him sternly.

"You told Dumbledore that you weren't going to help end the war," James reminded her.

"I told Dumbledore that I wouldn't help _him,_ " she corrected. "Dumbledore is an idiot who relies too heavily on prophesies made by that mental old bat, Trelawney. He has too many ulterior motives and he can't be trusted. We're going to stop the war, and we're going to do it right under Dumbledore's nose."

"How do we do that?" Lily asked.

"I'm going to tell you how we almost won before, how we would have won if Harry hadn't died," Hermione explained. "I'll tell you everything, if you promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say before you make any kind of decision about helping me because, honestly, it's not going to be easy."

They all looked at one another, knowing without even having to hear her story that their minds were already made up. Remus would follow her to the ends of the earth regardless if she was right or not, and James and Sirius would follow Remus' example, mostly out of loyalty to Remus but also because they were both very fond of the tiny witch who had fallen into their lives.

"Tell us everything," James said after a few moments of silence. Remus braced himself for whatever it was he was about to hear, knowing that none of it could be good.

..oo0O0oo..

Hermione took a deep breath as she extracted her little beaded bag from her pocket and rummaged through it for a moment before pulling out a stack of old newspapers.

"I guess the best place to start the story is at the end of my sixth year, with Dumbledore's death." She handed an article to Lily and watched carefully as the witch read what had been written there.

"S-Severus killed Dumbledore?" she whispered shakily. Hermione grimaced.

"Yes, but, it's not all cut and dried Lily, Dumbledore was already dying and he asked Professor Snape to kill him." She chewed her bottom lip nervously, trying to decide where to take the story next. "There was a boy in my year, a Slytherin, his father fell out of favor with Voldemort and he was marked and given a task as a punishment. You see, his task, it wasn't something he would have been able to do, and Voldemort gave it to him knowing that Draco would either die trying or that he would be able to kill him for failing. Professor Snape was a double agent, a spy who was considered one of Voldemort's most trusted men, when he learned of what Voldemort had planned for Draco he told Dumbledore and Dumbledore asked him to complete Draco's task for him, to protect him."

"Draco..." Sirius murmured. "Draco Malfoy? Cissy's son?"

"Yes," Hermione confirmed, nodding. "He was... he was sixteen, he was scared, his father was in Azkaban, Voldemort was living in their house, he didn't... he had no choice." Her heart ached a little as she thought of him, a boy she'd never imagined she could feel anything but borderline hatred for. She felt sorry for him now.

"That doesn't change the fact that Snivellous-"

"That's _enough_ James," Hermione snapped, looking over to glare at him. "You don't understand, I know all about your little school rivalry, and while I don't expect you to be best friends with the bloody git you will _stop_ with the fucking animosity. Fact of the matter is that in the end he gave his life for Harry. He _died_ protecting your _son,_ and I will _not_ listen to you degrade him for making bad choices." James sat down in the nearest chair, his face pale, looking properly chastised.

"He died for... for Harry?" he breathed. Hermione nodded.

"Why?" Lily asked, looking stunned.

"You know why," Hermione said gently, reaching out and grasping Lily's hand in support. "But we've gotten off topic. After Dumbledore died we, Harry, Ron, and I, knew that it wouldn't be safe to return to Hogwarts. It was August when Voldemort took over the Ministry, and the boys and I went into hiding." Hermione pulled two wanted posters out of the pile and handed one to Lily who gasped in shock at her son's photograph beneath the words 'Undesirable No. 1'.

Remus had immediately snatched up Hermione's wanted poster and stared at it for a long moment, his eyes flashing amber as he stared at her list of charges. "What's the Muggle-Born Registration Commission?" he asked. Hermione couldn't stop the disgusted sneer that spread across her face at the mention of it, nor the angry growl that tore itself from her throat as her thoughts turned to Dolores Umbridge's crusade to eradicate everything she considered impure.

"It was a program developed by that fat cow, Dolores Umbridge," she spat. "It was designed as a way to trap muggle-borns into presenting themselves to the Ministry so that they could argue that they'd come across their magic legitimately. The Ministry released all kinds of bogus research stating that it was impossible for someone to have magic unless one or more of their parents were magical. Anyone who could not prove they had magical ancestors were given the Kiss."

Lily whimpered and James scooted closer to where she was sitting on the sofa, pulling her into his arms in an attempt to comfort her.

"And the rest of this, you were seriously wanted simply for being associated with Harry?" Remus demanded. Hermione nodded.

"There was no question that if they found me it would bring Harry out of hiding," she said, smiling sadly. "He would stop at nothing to save me, chivalrous idiot."

"What was Harry wanted for?" Sirius asked, taking the wanted poster out of Lily's hands. "'Wanted for questioning in regards of the murder of Albus Dumbledore'." Sirius let out a low whistle. "They tried to endear the public to the idea of capturing him," he murmured absently, sounding more than a little angry. Hermione nodded in agreement.

'Yes, well, they couldn't exactly arrest him for being the Chosen One," she sighed. "Anyway, we stayed at Grimmauld Place for a while, Sirius had left it to Harry when he died, but it became compromised and we had to use our back up plan."

"The tent?" Lily asked. Hermione nodded, grimacing at the incredulous tone of Lily's voice.

"I admit it wasn't my best idea," Hermione chuckled, "and I thank Godric that I was able to get my hands on a magically expanded tent because that thing was cramped enough for the three of us, I can't even imagine how much worse it would have been if it had been a normal, muggle tent.

"Before he died Dumbledore gave us a mission, he had discovered something about Voldemort that would be the key to defeating him."

"Horcruxes," Remus murmured. Hermione nodded.

"What exactly is a horcrux?" James asked. "You said that the tiara thing we destroyed was one, but you never explained exactly what it was."

"A horcrux is an object, it can be essentially any object, where a person who has committed the act of murder can conceal part of their soul," she explained. "In my time there were seven of them, two had already been destroyed, one of them by Harry during our second year and the other by Dumbledore during the summer before our sixth year. In this time there are only five, and we've already managed to destroy one of them.

"When we began our mission we had no idea what we were looking for, or where they could be hidden, all we knew was that in order to defeat Voldemort we had to destroy his horcruxes first. There was a locket that had once belonged to Salazar Slytherin, a cup that had been the property of Helga Hufflepuff, the Diadem of Ravenclaw, Tom Riddle's diary, a ring that was a Gaunt family heirloom, Voldemort's pet snake, Nagini, and Harry."

"Harry?" James demanded, his eyes wide. Hermione sighed at the panic she could hear in her best friend's father's voice.

"Harry," Hermione confirmed. "Godric that was a tough pill for me to swallow when I finally figured it out. The night that Voldemort killed you and Lily he tried to kill Harry too, but Lily had sacrificed herself to protect him, she invoked an ancient magic that saved him. The killing curse rebounded off of Harry and struck Voldemort, whose soul had been split so many times it was unstable. The curse split his soul again and it attached itself to the nearest object it could find, Harry.

"But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Harry destroyed Tom Riddle's diary in our second year, he didn't know what it was then, but he used a Basilisk fang to destroy it in order to save Ginny Weasley's life," Hermione explained. "Dumbledore had found the Gaunt ring and destroyed it, but not before it cursed him. That's how he was already dying before Professor Snape killed him. I'm certain that it can be found in the Gaunt family home in Little Hangleton.

"The cup is in the Lestrange vault in Gringotts, I know that Lucius Malfoy has Tom Riddle's diary, and we've already destroyed the diadem."

"What about the locket?" Remus asked. Hermione shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

"When we started our mission we knew about the locket, Harry and Dumbledore had gone to retrieve it the night Dumbledore died but it had been long before replaced with a fake by a follower who had turned against Voldemort with the hope that he could one day be defeated." Hermione's eyes slid over to Sirius without her permission.

"How do you know that it was replaced by one of his followers?" James asked.

"There was a note in the fake locket," Hermione murmured her eyes never leaving Sirius' face as she pulled the note from the pile of papers and handed it to him. Sirius took the note and read it silently to himself, his frown deepening as the meaning of it sunk in fully.

"What is that?" James asked, sounding unnerved by the expression on his best friend's face. "Sirius?"

" _To the Dark Lord,_ " Sirius read aloud, his voice shaking. " _I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match you will be mortal once more. R.A.B._ "

"R.A.B.?" James questioned, looking even more confused. "I don't understand, who is that?"

"When did he replace the locket?" Sirius asked, ignoring James' questions.

"You know the answer to that," Hermione whispered.

"He really turned on the bastard?"

"He did," Hermione confirmed. "He died an honorable death."

"Who's R.A.B.?" James demanded, his voice rising.

"Regulus," Sirius answered, his voice flat. "Regulus Arcturus Black." There was a heavy silence as Sirius struggled to get a hold on his emotions. "Hermione, where is the locket?" he asked cautiously.

"Number Twelve Grimmauld Place," Hermione admitted. Sirius nodded, his eyes falling back to the note in his hand.

"That fucking figures," Sirius muttered bitterly. There was another brief silence before a rough choking sound split the air and Sirius began to cry.


	11. Chapter 11

**It's been a while. I've had a long year, I got pregnant, lost my apartment, lost my job (twice), totaled a car, went through a break up, had a baby, and went through major postpartum anxiety. It's been crippling and heartbreaking and rewarding and I've had no creative energy.**

 **This chapter took me five months to write and complete. There were kind reviews that kept me going, bad reviews that made me want to give up, and the never ending support of my friends here that made this chapter possible. I'm not certain how long the wait will be between this chapter and the next, all I can say is that I have not abandoned you, my loves.**

 **I have a five month old daughter now, be patient with me, she's a handful.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is JK Rowling's sandbox, I'm just building castles.**

 **This story is rated M for the occasional sex scene and some violence. Also language, because I swear a lot.**

 **Shout out to Synoir, who is, most definitely, my closest confidant when it comes to this story. Without her support I would have given up. Go check out her stories because everything she writes is amazing. I love you lovely.**

 **Thank you for reading and please remember to feed the magical review eating fairy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 11**_

 _ **July 20, 1997**_

 _She tried to remind herself that if was for the best. As Hermione descended the stairs in her childhood home she tried desperately to cling to the strength she had built up for this exact moment._

 _All around her was everything that had ever felt safe to her. The plush cream carpet beneath her feet, the faded forget-me-not wallpaper that lined the hallway, the smell of her mother cooking something in the kitchen. The sound of her father's voice._

 _She stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, letting the weight of the sound settle over her. It filled her with a warmth she knew she would never find anywhere else. Her father's voice, the sound that had soothed her when she cried, that had reminded her over and over in her darkest moments that no matter what happened she was_ loved.

 _It seemed impossible to her that she would never hear it again after that moment, but she wouldn't, because this was_ the _moment. The moment she had spent the entire past year preparing for. Endless late nights researching, crying, researching, and crying some more; knowing the entire time that there was no other way. She had no other options._

 _She, Harry, and Ron would disappear. They would go on their way and hunt for Horcruxes and they would not be able to come back until they had succeeded. Harry's family, if you could even call them that, would be put under the Order's protection. Ron's family had magic to protect themselves. But Hermione knew that her parents, her family, would be left unprotected. Vulnerable._

 _She had to protect them, the alternative was far too much for her to even consider._

 _A peal of her mother's laughter filled the room and Hermione thought she might shatter as she opened her eyes and continued down the stairs and through the hall to stand in the kitchen doorway._

 _Her mother and father were waltzing, her father humming out of tune and her mother laughing happily, her head thrown back, her eyes closed._

 _Hermione took a deep breath and raised her wand, the movement drawing her mother's attention. Her parents stopped dancing, turning towards her with concerned looks on their faces._

" _Hermione?" her mother said, her brow creasing in confusion. "Darling are you alright?"_

" _I'm sorry Mum," Hermione whispered, her voice shaking with tears. "Dad, I'm so sorry."_

" _Sorry?" Her father asked, his frown deepening. Hermione let out a small sob and took another deep breath._

"Obliviate."

..oo0O0oo..

 _ **July 21, 1997**_

 _Remus appeared on Hermione's street in the middle of the night with a soft_ pop! _He'd known from the moment that her portkey had arrived at the Burrow without her that something was wrong, and now, standing outside of her childhood home, Remus felt the knot that had been forming in his stomach all day tighten painfully._

 _There was something about the way the house stood, still and silent, in the cold, damp darkness that didn't feel right. It was too still, too quiet, as if all the life that had once thrived within had suddenly been snuffed out. He felt a nearly uncontrollable urge to turn away, to run from the house and the horrors that might await him behind it's doors._

 _It was only the will of his wolf, the sheer volume of his desperate need to see Hermione that allowed him to walk forward. A fond smile crossed his face the moment he was within the wards Hermione had set to keep unwanted visitors, both muggle and magical, at bay. Had he been anyone else there would have been no way he would have been able to resist the compulsion ward she'd come up with._

 _She really was a brilliant witch._

 _He entered the house with his wand drawn, knowing that if he took her by surprise she would hex first and ask questions later. He knew from experience that he didn't want to be at the business end of her wand unprepared. Remus made his way through the house, using the sound of his mate's heartbeat to guide him to her bedroom._

 _Hermione was lying on the bed, curled tightly into a ball, her arms wrapped around her knees. Her face was tear stained, her eyes red and swollen and Remus felt his stomach twist at the sight of her. Everything in him screamed in protest against her obvious distress, his wolf howling at him to fix whatever was wrong immediately._

" _Hermione, love, what happened?" Remus asked, sitting tentatively on the edge of her bed and reaching out to move a lock of hair away from Hermione's face. She sniffled but didn't answer him, her eyes squeezing shut as she began to cry harder. "You missed your portkey, everyone is worried about you. What happened Hermione? Where are your parents?"_

 _She took a deep shuddering breath and opened her eyes. "I obliviated them," she breathed. Remus blinked in shock at her words._

" _Obliviated... You-" All coherence left him as he tried to think of something to say. Out of all the things she could have said he never would have expected that. Obliviation was not easy magic, to erase a person's memory took an extreme amount of power, to do so properly took years of preparation and training, neither of which Hermione possessed. He didn't know how to tell her that what she had done would be irreversible._

" _I erased myself from their memories," she continued, ignoring his spluttering. "They're on a plane to Australia right now." Her voice broke and she let out a shuddering sob. "I- I had to do it Remus, I had to protect them." He could hear the desperation in her voice, her plea for him to understand what she had done._

" _Shhh, Hermione, I know," he whispered, pulling her up off the bed and into his lap, cradling her in his arms and rocking her gently back and forth. "I know." He smoothed her hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead._

 _They stayed like that for a long time, her body pressed against his, and when the mood in the room changed Remus couldn't quite say, but the kisses he was pressing against her skin shifted from gentle to passionate. His lips moved from her forehead to her lips, and she returned his kiss eagerly._

" _Remus," Hermione breathed. "Remus, please."_

 _He knew it was bad timing. There was so much that they needed to talk about, so many reasons he should tell her no. But his name sounded so sweet on her lips and he could not deny her anything when she asked so politely._

 _He removed her clothes slowly, tenderly, taking his time and committing every inch of her body to memory. He knew that his time with her was limited, knew by the cold dread that flooded his body when he thought about letting her go that goodbye was upon them. They were at war, and there were too many secrets between them._

 _The last time had been rushed, it had been desperate and primal and this time, what Remus was sure would be the last time, he took his time. Their love making was slow and tender and bittersweet. And when it was over Remus tried to ignore the way it tasted of regret and goodbye._

..ooO0Ooo..

 _ **November 11, 1981**_

It was nearly unbearable. Remus and Sirius stood outside of Hermione's bedroom door and listened as Hermione sobbed in pain. She was not a werewolf, but the full moon was affecting her in a way that they did not understand. Remus was restless, both from the effects of the moon and the sinking feeling of dread and worry that was setting in the pit of his stomach.

She'd woken that morning screaming, startling a rather grumpy and slightly hungover Sirius out of bed. He'd thought at first that they were being attacked, but upon finding Hermione in her bedroom, drenched in sweat and writhing in agony he'd realized that something was quite wrong. A few diagnostic spells he'd learned from Lily had told him that nothing was wrong with the baby, and when he'd asked Hermione what was wrong all she could tell him was that she hurt all over.

Sirius had fire called Lily first, then Remus, before going to the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of firewhiskey. Lily had done a more complicated series of diagnostic spells before declaring that other than being in obvious pain there was nothing technically wrong with Hermione. The only explanation that they could come up with was that the full moon was having an adverse affect on the young witch.

James and Lily could be heard talking in low tones to one another in the kitchen, bickering over whether or not food would solve Hermione's problems. Remus opened the door to Hermione's bedroom and stepped inside, ignoring the sound of protest that came from the raven haired animagus standing next to him. He simply couldn't stand it any longer, his wolf was driving him crazy urging him to help her, to stop her pain, to do _something_.

She was lying on the bed, making inhuman noises and shifting around fitfully, there was a sheen of sweat covering her body, making her hair and her thin cotton nightdress cling to her skin. The sight of her both turned his stomach and made his heart soar.

"Hermione, love, what can I do?" he whispered, kneeling at the side of her bed and gazing down into her eyes. Gone was the rich chocolate color that Remus had grown used to over the short amount of time that he had known her and instead she gazed at him with the amber colored eyes of the wolf.

"It h-hurts," she gasped. "R-Re-Remus, p-please make it s-stop."

"I don't know how," he admitted, the words tasted like acid on his tongue. "I don't know how to help you."

"You h-helped B-B-Bill," she protested. "When Gr-Greyback a-attacked him, y-you h-help-ed him."

"I don't know who Bill is, Hermione," Remus reminded her. "I was older in your time, I probably knew a lot more than I do now."

"The bracelet." Remus and Hermione both startled at the sound of Sirius' voice coming from the doorway. "You used it to summon Harry, maybe you can use it to summon older Remus."

Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend, unsure of how he would feel about seeing his older counterpart but impressed by Sirius' quick thinking.

"No," Hermione gasped. "Anyone but _him_." Remus watched as she licked her lips, her pretty amber eyes fluttering closed as she continued to writhe in pain. He tried to ignore the sting of rejection he felt that she didn't want to see him. Well, older him, she didn't seem to have a problem with current him.

Hermione let out another cry of pain and Remus nearly howled along with her. His wolf was so close to the surface, it took every ounce of self control he had to keep from snatching her up and holding her close to him.

..oo0O0oo..

Her body was screaming. Every inch of her burned, as if someone had set all of her nerves on fire and it was all Hermione could do to keep from screaming non stop. She wanted Remus. Not the Remus kneeling beside her now but _her_ Remus. She had never missed him more than she did at that moment. Had never _needed_ him more than she did at that moment. But her Remus was gone, he was dead and she refused to call him back to her. It would only make things harder, in the end.

Her hand strayed to the cuff that adorned her wrist and she contemplated for a moment before deciding on the best person to ask for. "Bill," she whispered, unsure of her choice but knowing that if Remus wasn't an option then Bill was her best bet. There was a bright flash of light and then Bill Weasley appeared, standing next to Remus and staring at her with wide eyes.

"Oh Hermione," he sighed as he seemed to realize what he was seeing. His bright blue eyes swept the room, landing on Sirius, who was still hovering in the doorway. "Run her a cold bath, it'll help," he instructed. The raven haired animagus nodded and left the room, seeming relieved to have something to do other than watch Hermione suffer.

"It h-hurts," Hermione gasped, drawing Bill's attention back to her. The redhead frowned at her.

"It won't always hurt this much love," he promised. "Your symptoms are being amplified by your pregnancy." Hermione whined a bit, the thought of spending every full moon for the rest of her pregnancy like this making her feel slightly distraught.

"What can I do?" Remus asked, his tone pleading.

"Body contact helps," Bill suggested, smirking slightly. "Cold baths, running, rare meat will help after she has the baby. Keep her active and calm." Hermione fought to sit up, reaching for Bill in desperation. She whined when her attempt to grab his arm resulted in her grasping at empty air. She fell back onto her bed and tried to regain control of her emotions.

"B-Bill, I'm s-sorry," Hermione began but Bill shushed her.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he told her seriously. "I only wanted to keep you safe, to keep her safe."

"I sh-should have l-listened to you," Hermione protested. Bill chuckled and shook his head.

"Hermione Granger doing as she's told," he mused as he began to fade, "that'll be the day."

"Don't l-leave," Hermione cried, feeling suddenly panicked.

"I can't stay," Bill whispered, fading away to nothing before her eyes. Hermione closed her eyes and began to cry freely, feeling oddly empty. She hadn't been close to Bill, but seeing him had caused a new ache to start within her, and she felt the oddest urge to howl, to show the world how incredibly lonely she felt. Lost in a time that was not her own, surrounded by people who were becoming her friends, but who could not fill the empty spaces in her heart.


End file.
